hyenahell

alright. it's mother's day. everyone call up your mum and tell her you love her. i command you.

um. other stuff...

been keeping the odd hours again. going to bed around noon. waking up around six. at least i get to see some daylight this way, although i'd rather be seeing it from the other side of the morning.

in addition to this, i've been cycling really fast. (for those of you unfamiliar with mental illness jargon, this basically entails going from manic to depressive back to manic and so forth at a very quick pace. think of the roller coaster metaphor, and imagine it normally takes the roller coaster a month or so to get to the top of the track before coasting back down. now imagine this roller coaster suddenly speeding up, so that it climbs up and falls back down about seventy-billion times a day. and that's my brain.)

also, i've been drawing for about eight or ten hours a day. at least. i'll post pictures of my sketchbook when i get the camera hooked up to the new computer. got some good stuff, but mostly i stopped improving about a year ago. (the same time i stopped drawing everyday. hmmm.) so i'm trying to force it back into being a natural thing for me to do. a lot of this is just that i've lost confidence... but it's complicated, and fodder for a whole other journal entry in itself. maybe next time. right now my head's all over the fucking place and i don't want to take the time to write it all out. right now. at least.

but. my point. and i do have one...

...is that these are the reasons i've been all dodgey and reclusive and nigh impossible to reach. so, much apologies for that. and i do hope to get things back to normal as soon as possible. i'm really quite a lovely person if you can tolerate the occational disappearing act and the random bouts of madness.

so.

call your mother.

cheers, and much love to you all.

Hyena "...all I wanted was a Pepsi" Hell.