hyenahell

my life consists of this:

-working at a dive bar.
-muttering to myself.
-perpetual leonard cohen.
-torturing myself in the head over things that are out of my control.
-torturing myself in the head over things that are well within my control.
-torturing myself in the head over things i am too apathetic to assert control over, but could if i had the will.
-more leonard cohen.
-occational t.v.
-silent resentment.
-chain smoking.
-coffe drinking.
-occational artistic endeavor.
-torturing myself in the head over lack of more frequent artistic endeavors.
-more leonard cohen.
-occational punk rock or bob dylan record, you know, to add variety to the otherwise perpetual leonard cohen.
-torturing myself in the head over nothing really at all.
-hearing lots of hard-luck stories.
-hearing lots of unwanted propositions of the sexual or romantic nature from drunken old men.
-rejecting said propositions with tact and grace, when i want to stab someone's eyes out.
-brief fantasies of stabbing out folk's eyes.
-brief fantasies of stabbing out my own eyes.
-manic pacing.
-prophesizing doom and imminent destruction of biblical proportions.
-talking to dogs.
-wondering what the fuck i'm doing here.
-postponing things.
-sleeping 4 hours a night. or 20 hours a night. but never in between.
-staring into space.
-fucking around on SG.
-ignoring epiphanies.
-pretending everything will be just fine.