hyenahell

been up since 3pm yesterday. can't sleep.

nothing new. feeling better physically. not so right in the head. but you can't have your cake and eat it too, can you?

been having strange thoughts. not really thoughts, but memories. like me and my brother, our clubhouse behind the woodpile, under the dogwood tree at the end of the driveway when we were kids. and a wierd flashback of an ex-lover that i can't get out of my mind. odd how these things pop up out of nowhere.

this morning i took a walk in the bitter cold. the moon was out, glowing through the fog. it was golden. jules was walking beside me, for a minute. she was beautiful. her hair was red.

i wanted her to come and have coffee with me, but she didn't stay.

"and i'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday".

yeah, that's how i feel right now.