hyenahell

i was talking to mel just now. and i'm super stressed, because, like i told her. nothing, and i mean nothing, has fucking happened to me for months. and then this month, which is a bad month anyway, because. because it is. it was before, and now. the 22nd. is coming up. fast. and it feels like ten years, but it's only been one.

and all this shit, all the sudden- the new studio, the commision stuff, the art sales, working on getting my stuff up in zotz, etc. all of it at once. i could have used it spaced out, at least. a little more spaced out. for months all i did was sit around. and now that i could really use some sitting around time. to think. and breathe. and uhg.

it isn't so bad. i just get. hyped up. and can't come down. it's just as bad as the lows. maybe worse. fuck. fuck. fuck. i've been cycling really fast lately, too. normally a cycle will take weeks. it used to be months. now it takes hours. the roller coaster goes faster. the ride won't stop. keep your head and arms inside the car. try not to throw up on anyone. here we go again...