hyenahell

five-thirty in the morning. couldn't sleep anymore. making coffee, then gonna try for a small breakfast. seems like everytime i eat anything recently, my stomach goes into violent revolt. you'd think that would help me not eat. but no, all it does is help me feel sick all the time. i can drink coffee or alcohol, soda, juice... i can drink, and i feel great. but the second solid food hits me, my gut knots up and refuses to digest. truly wierd. i've never had a weak stomach, a sensitive stomach... hell, i've always treated it pretty well, i thought. but now, all of a sudden, for the last month or so, it's like, "naw, man. naw." the problem is, i still get hungry. really, really hungry. and i'm not so good at the whole ignoring hunger thing. so again, the condition doesn't mean i'm not eating (which i'd prefer, really. i could stand to lose a pound or twenty), just that i'm in constant gut-wrenching pain.
well, maybe not that bad. but enough to sit down and write a fucking entry about it. enough that whether or not i should eat and face subsequent gut-pain, or be hungry consumes about 75% of my daily thought.

fuck. anyway. how's your day going?


xxx's; ooo's; etc.-
-Hyena.