well. back in new orleans. it's been one week. she died on the solstice, the night before the last new moon of the year. the night after i got the news, mel came over. two dogs showed up at my house- two little twin dogs, with blonde hair. out of nowhere, in the rain, and were gone just as quick. strange. very strange. i keep thinking it must've meant something, all of this. but i still can't make sense. we cleaned out all her stuff from the apartment sunday. i'm probably going back home in a month or so to help mel sort through it. you know, you always think you'll have enough time to spend with the people you love. you never think that one day, out of the blue, with no warning, they could be gone. jules was someone i didn't have to explain myself to; i didn't have to call her up every week. i loved her. she was my sister, and she already knew, i figured. and when i saw her, it was like no time at all had passed between then and the last time. and now... hell. it's hard to lose someone, i know. it's hard to get the word "dead" out of your lips. it's hard... it's always hard... thanks to everyone for your kind words and love over the past week. i'll be on more often, i promise, now that i'm home. just do me a favor. call up an old friend, or your folks, or your sister. anyone you don't talk to as much as you should. because god, do i wish i would have sooner.
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This is all just my opinion based on the feelings I have about a situation I am in right now. It's how I feel. You guys have an en. You'll see her again.
I hope you are starting to feel a little bit better. I hope your holidays weren't too sad, and that you got to be surrounded by alot of people who knew what you were going through and were very sweet to you.
I keep forcing myself to thank Ezili for the time I got to experience such perfect love. Even though now it is killing me.