hybridways

great timing:

So as well as being stressed about my lack of a career at the moment, I have to decide where I'm living before April.

Here's my living situtation now: (yes as with everything it's fucked up)
I live with:
Amy- my friend
Jason- my ex-fiance
Ben- boyfriend

Yes, it was shitty for a long long time, but it's ok now.

I wanted to live on my own basically since I broke off my engagement. SO I told Amy that, and she just recently scoped out some new places. Amy also has SEVERAL querks about her that frankly get on my last nerve. Jason, well I have no idea what he's doing. And Ben, well here's the thing with Ben- I always want him around and he's done A LOT for me (so) I don't ask him to pay. And last night we were talking and I asked him if he wanted to move in like seriously and he's unsure. So I basically told him that it's no different than what we have now except: he would pay, and he would have all of his stuff here. And, yes, he knows this. But, as in relationships, it's like he doesn't want the title of "live-in boyfriend" EVEN THOUGH THAT'S WHAT HE IS! So here's where the unfortunate timing comes in:

So, yesterday after finding out all the bad news about money, I gave some serious thought to my living situtation and decided I was going to ask Amy if she wanted to stay here and live with me for another year. Well, she walked in the door and shouted: "I got it!". Ben and I were like "You got what?" She says " I got the condo! They accepted my offer today."

Well FUCKIN' specktackular! GREAT so I pretend to be happy for her and sit there just thinking :What the fuck have I done?" No one wants to live with me.



I must crawl in a hole and die now