huskysox

I've been contemplating alot of things lately. Who I am, who really cares for me and I came to a realization, I just don't know. My parents are not being supportive with me out here in Korea. I gave them my checkbook and asked that they pay my bills (with my own money). My ex-wife kept writing me bitching about the child support for my two yr old daughter and I thought my parents didn't send it because she was bitching. But apparently she wasn't going home and checking her mail and it was there the whole time. I feel as though I am being a good father and doing the best I can, but to my ex it's all about money this and money that. She complains to me, but she fails to realize my parents have the checkbook and there's nothing I can do. I started an allotment to go straight into her bank, I am so sick of this crap, I paid her child support even for the one year we were separated because I cared enough, but I still get a slap in the face. I feel as though no one really cares about shit. I was upset with my parents thinking that they never sent the bill and we had a big argument about it when my ex had it the whole time but never checked her mail because she was never home. Kind of fucked up. But besides that my dad tells me to "advise" that he was sending me my checkbook and forwarding my bills to me half a world away here to Korea so I can do it myself. The only thing I can think of is that he signed me up for the Air Force and filled out all the papers when I was 17 and I was gone ever since. I have been in TX, MS, MD, OH, Kuwait and here in Korea and I stayed in to make him happy, but he can't support me for one short year until I get assigned like 45 min away from him. I can't believe how much my parents true colors come out when I ask for help. If I can't rely on them...then who can I rely on?

Seven Dead and Lost

Confusion and temptation in our first deadly sin
Gluttony portrayed in lives we destroy

I betray the love for lust in the second of these sins
But I never forgave myself

Lest we pay homage to the ones we stab
Blindly with the greed we succeed

I dont envy you; I can only see the fourth now
Bestow gracefully back into the corner

With wrath I pay back everyone for their dirty deeds
I give them respect for which they know they are undeserving

Take pride in yourselves with apathy
Because no one else will or really cares

Rot inside yourself like a four legged sloth
And kneel down and ask to be forgiven

These are the seven deadly sins that
Can be used for good, but we choose the latter

Copyright: HuskySox (G)