So it's "midsummer" holiday in Sweden and I'm going to a festival to work in three days. Right now though, I should actually be at a party. However, and I really don't know why, but I just can't make myself go. So my solution? I'm ashamed to say, cigarettes and alcohol. I'll be looking into groups about bipolar and so on. I found one and they said you need a journal so I wrote this. I'll be going to the party in a couple of minutes but first I'll mail around and check out places where you can speak with likeminded individuals.