Every once in a while, I get to do something wholly different with comedy. Usually, a host says some stuff about me, and I get on stage, and I do my spiel about my dick or 90's Nickelodeon shows, and I get off stage. Laughs are had. Bonds are made. It is a good time for us all....but...we've all seen that before.
That was not...
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Ever have a weird night? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MINE!
My Saturday night started with me driving to a hospital to perform stand up comedy for a dying man's 50th birthday. Now, if you know me AT ALL (and I couldn't imagine how any of you all would [That's not a dig on you all. That's just me saying that I'm new here.]), you...
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Fun fact: If you ever want me to fall madly in love with you, randomly and without provocation, say, "Oh! We should watch Tron: Legacy!"
The same applies for Jumper, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and any of the Scream movies.
This morning, a giant booming thunderclap woke Lily and I up simultaneously. Lily walked to the window, and she barked once into the heavens, telling nature to shut the fuck up. Then, she went back to sleep.
OH FUCK OFF, WORLD! I have a Fundly up for my first album. I'm a pretty good person. People tend to like me. I've never murdered someone. Having said that....THERE'S A GOFUNDME PAGE FOR THE DICKHEAD THAT MURDERED MICHAEL BROWN THAT HAS RAISED $70,000!!!
Fuck off, world. Fuck right off.
I just watched this One Direction video (FOR REASONS! SHUT UP, JUDGEY!)...and I'm highly disappointed in the director of that video. Five guys in One Direction....three girls show up to party with them at the beach. THREE?! TO FIVE?!?! Have they never seen a Backstreet Boys or 'NSync video? Five guys = five matching girls! IT'S BASIC BOY BAND MATH!!
Fuckin' Brits...
And here's the super fun video interview that I did at Comic Con with @jennings and @sunny for Gonzogeek.com
A billion years ago, I was a member on ANOTHER site with tattooed ladies. I left that site because...I dunno. There didn't feel like enough of a community. I didn't fit the "mold" of the type of guy that was on the site...so a lot of the people didn't talk to me. I felt kinda left out (and what a weird place to feel excluded,...
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