Ever have a weird night? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MINE!
My Saturday night started with me driving to a hospital to perform stand up comedy for a dying man's 50th birthday. Now, if you know me AT ALL (and I couldn't imagine how any of you all would [That's not a dig on you all. That's just me saying that I'm new here.]), you know that I HATE hospitals. Part of that has to do with Halloween 2 (not the shitty Rob Zombie remake). And the other part of that is that I just...I don't handle death well. I get dizzy and pass out when I walk into funeral homes. It's the smell. Not like...OH I SMELL DEATH! No...it's the smell of lilies. It's that attempt to use flowers to cover up the smell of death. SO! Comedy...Hospital. The whole reason that I'm doing it is because a comedian friend of mine asked me to do a favor for him and this man who was a great friend to him. As I'm pulling up to the hospital, I get a phone call telling me that the guy is getting transferred to a different hospital THAT NIGHT.....so no show. Sucks. I felt bad for the guy. A good bit of work had gone into putting the show together...clearing it with staff and so on...but at the same time...good for the guy! Other hospitals have better care than the one that he was at already.
SO! Comic friend says he feels bad. Wants to hang out and buy me some beers. I go over to his place and play beer pong with the comic, his brother and his brother's girlfriend (who is apparently married to someone else?). Again...weird.
THEN! I get invited to a gay bar. I love gay bars. They are just about having fun. Far less stress. I'm not a big "dancer." You won't hear me ever say the phrase, "Guys...let's just go out tonight and dance!" But, having said that, if the mood strikes me, I will dance up a storm (this big ass is oddly good at dancing). So my friends drag me up on the catwalk to dance, and I. AM. GETTIN IT! Everyone else hops down, and I turn to see a gogo dancer coming my way. He's wearing nothing but tiny briefs and knee pads (safety first, y'all!). I start dancing toward the guy, and then, my other guy friend hops on stage....forming a gay meat sandwich with straight guy bread. The gogo dancer dances for a couple of seconds and goes..."NOPE! I'm out! I can't! You all...just..." and hopped off the catwalk. Yep. That's right....I out gayed a gay bar gogo dancer on a night that I was to perform stand up comedy in a hospital for a dying man's 50th birthday. That happened...That's a sentence that I can say now.
