hotel in ny was fab. tonys were fab. saw aaron which was wonderful, we played worms armageddon all night and read "eloise" for bedtime story. miss him already, wish he was coming to gull lake, etc.

am now home. have terrible cold/flu/black plague illness. am getting in quality time with the N.

landing in my sunny city felt so foreign. even walking into my fairytale cottage does not seem like home. i don't know what is home to me anymore, just my dark feelings i carry around. i mean it's good to be here, my mom and dad and tv and bed and everything are here. it's just different.

what it is is, this town is worthless to me now. nothing can make me love it again.