humberthumbert

it's time for TIME TRAVEL SEX!!!

who would you travel back in time to have sex with???

tristram = roman philosophers

me = second wave feminists

...

yesterday allison brought home a giant, foot-tall chocolate bunny. his name on the box was "grandbunny heffelflopper". he was made of the bad chocolate and he had eyes that stared at you. allison was eating him. then tristram got out his machete and fucking wasted that motherfucking bunny, old school. grandbunny heffelflopper is now reduced to a pile of chocolate carnage.

today was good. things have been going good and i have not been depressed. this summer i am going to a seminar taught by my beloved lynda barry where she will teach me how to write purty like her. then i will sacrifice a small animal at her feet.

i really want to transfer to smith, because all the lesbians live there. girls are soft and i want one. i should not be telling readers this.

tristram just talked a bunch of crazy nonsense in his sleep.

i've been staying up all night a lot. no doz!!!

everyone's doing drugs.

...

dialogue of this afternoon:

ME: what should i write my short short story about?

TRISTRAM: time travel sex with feminists!

ME: it has to be about sickness.

TRISTRAM: hot gay sex with FDR!

ME: how would that be gay?

TRISTRAM: i didn't say gay.