went to melrose with allison (fenchurch) and quilty and saw a great improv show. window-shopped. quilty's gotten so beautiful! just, wow, what a lovely face, all warm-lit eyes and cheekbones.
now watching degrassi and poring over the dirty talk boards where people endlessly extrapolate on which sg has the best ass. it's like a large-scale version of EVERY CONVERSATION i have with allison and tristram. i cannot study naked women enough. or the clothed ones, either. i am an objectifying machine!
i could talk about my love for unshaven blonde sgs for hours, most notably mei and evillyn.
today this crazy guy came into the office saying he was the messiah and the cops had to be called. also, the cute puppy was back. she wears little sweaters and spazzes out and bites your hand. i adore her.
work has been alright, so has life. random panics are just my nature. just think if we lived on degrassi! you'd never know what misfortune could befall you next. my very special episode could be the "could i be clinically depressed?" or maybe my dad would die. of i'd get gay-bashed! it could happen. if i lived in canada.
there's a lot of prejudice i've never faced and will probably have to some day and be really unprepared. like the jew thing, i was talking to my mom and she like informed me that people probably don't take me for a jew because my looks are untypicaljewlike (oh man, so i'm not really sexy?
) and my crazy fake irish last name. i never realized that before. we always play that game where what if hitler came in the room right now? i guess i would get to live after all. apparently i don't look gay, either (i look FEMININE!) and i've grown up in situations where neither of these things mattered (see also: interlochen, high school full of jews, other high school full of queers, LOS ANGELES) and i wonder what kind of crazy shit would happen to me if i lived in the south or something, how i'd be different.
look at me, all in touch with my "alternative lifestyle". i'm gonna start wearing yarmulkes and join a hardcore jew gang.
then let's see that really funny movie, talk to her.
now watching degrassi and poring over the dirty talk boards where people endlessly extrapolate on which sg has the best ass. it's like a large-scale version of EVERY CONVERSATION i have with allison and tristram. i cannot study naked women enough. or the clothed ones, either. i am an objectifying machine!
i could talk about my love for unshaven blonde sgs for hours, most notably mei and evillyn.
today this crazy guy came into the office saying he was the messiah and the cops had to be called. also, the cute puppy was back. she wears little sweaters and spazzes out and bites your hand. i adore her.
work has been alright, so has life. random panics are just my nature. just think if we lived on degrassi! you'd never know what misfortune could befall you next. my very special episode could be the "could i be clinically depressed?" or maybe my dad would die. of i'd get gay-bashed! it could happen. if i lived in canada.
there's a lot of prejudice i've never faced and will probably have to some day and be really unprepared. like the jew thing, i was talking to my mom and she like informed me that people probably don't take me for a jew because my looks are untypicaljewlike (oh man, so i'm not really sexy?
) and my crazy fake irish last name. i never realized that before. we always play that game where what if hitler came in the room right now? i guess i would get to live after all. apparently i don't look gay, either (i look FEMININE!) and i've grown up in situations where neither of these things mattered (see also: interlochen, high school full of jews, other high school full of queers, LOS ANGELES) and i wonder what kind of crazy shit would happen to me if i lived in the south or something, how i'd be different.
look at me, all in touch with my "alternative lifestyle". i'm gonna start wearing yarmulkes and join a hardcore jew gang.
then let's see that really funny movie, talk to her.
I don't think you'd be too different if you had grown up in the South, (Cuz hey, look at me) it just might have taken you longer to get in touch with your alternative self because there wouldn't have been as many examples to look at and be like hey that seems right for me, this seems like who I am. At least that's sort of how it went for me. I spent forever trying to be preppy and it just didn't work for me. Also, yes you probably would have faced a bit more (by which I mean any) prejudice, but you're a strong enough person I don't think it would have changed who you are. Then again, I'm not from the Deep South. I am from the buckle of the Bible Belt as opposed to inside of the anus of the man who is wearing it.
Also you forgot to mention that the messiah is a flamboyantly gay British man who loved you. Biblically. Or just fashion-wise.
[Edited on Feb 13, 2004 10:58AM]
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