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howdypardner

No.VA, Colorado Springs, Heidelberg & Stuttgart Germany.

Member Since 2005

Followers 83 Following 71

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Wednesday Jun 07, 2006

Jun 7, 2006
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it's funny when I can go read another journal and see so much of myself, so many of my same hang-ups. I see the journal, i find the problem, and I know how to solve it. I apparently have the ability to do that in my own life, but I'm much too lazy to do it. And I certainly don't have the energy to fix the problems. Maybe I like being fucked up. maybe it's the only way i know how to survive.

I feel better today than i have in the past few weeks. It may be that damn sunshine actually permiating into my soul.

I want to go swimming. I love the water! Ever since I was a kid I've been a water baby. I can remember being at the pool all day, and being beet red for it. There's something comforting about the water. . .how it surrounds you, the bouyant quality. . . .I love it all. I'm a cancer thru and thru. No Honestly I am! I mean look at my chart!

see. . .4 signs in cancer. 3 of which are very major. . .my sun sign, my moon sign, AND my rising sign!
apparently something aligined at my birth. . . I think it was axis of evil biggrin
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cheech:
With mental problems there's a rational and emotional side. Anyone can tell you logically what they should do to solve an emotional problem, but they can't do it. The mind is a uncontrollable thing pretty damned often.
Jun 7, 2006
cheech:
Well, I've had to think about anxiety a lot lately, cuz the job-hunting thing makes me tense to the point where it's like a phobia. I dunno exactly what it is. Maybe the process of my traits being scrutinized by HR people? Fear of rejection? I guess those things, and maybe more. I know rationally that job-hunting is just normal stuff everyone does, but emotionally it makes me anxious.
Jun 7, 2006

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