howdypardner

so thursday was a horrible day.
*my car over heated and sounded terrible, so i needed to be towed.
*the tow truck took like 2 hours to arrive.
*I got home and got a letter from uw saying we never got your hs transcript so umm would you like to apply for another semester?

Then Fri I had to catch a super early train to PDX. Well there was a tree on the track outside tacoma so we were delayed an hour.

on top of it I've been feeling really anxious. It's that damn letter from UW. I'm left pondering what the hell I'm going to do. It's too expensive to just chill here. I mean I have a job, but that's nothing. So I feel like i'm wasting time and money. Speaking of wasting money I've wasted a lot. Looking back the past two years seeing how much money i've spent is making me sick.

Then today at dinner my dad brings up his diaylisis and his need for a transplant and how things are going to go after he passes and it was overwhelming, so of course I started to cry. I'm feeling broken and lost in life lately and no one will talk to me about it. I need my best friend but he's always unreachable and he's dealing with his own shit right now and I can't bother him too much about it. I'm just confused and feel like I don't have a rudder.

this is my sos.