hotrodkid

cliff notes from last night :

8pm mom walks into the living room, asks me if im going out... i say "i donno" ... i knew that what ever i did last night, i would by all means be ready for todays wedding no problem, i simply wasnt worried ... and as i type this i know i was right

11 pm .. mike comes over to do some laundry and chill

1pm ... we roll out to meet some friends at the bar and chill for a while, after which we were planning on heading to a small house "gathering" ... by no means a party

my younger brother ben asks to come along .. i agree... figure whats the harm right ?

3pm, we roll out from the bar ... on the way to the car ben mentions how b4 he even got home (shortly b4 we went to the bar) he had had like 8 beers w/ friends

he had like 4 beers at the bar that i know of

330, we get to the lil 8 person gathering ... bens passed out in the back seat of joes neon ... sleeps till we leave there at 715

720, ben walked to the other side of the parking lot to piss, attempts to lay down on the sidewalk to sleep more

730, we finaly get bens biligerant ass into the car

740, we arive home, mom flips out on me for "getting ben hammered" .. i mention how ben appeared stone cold sober when we left the house and only drank 4 at the bar

apparently i was supposed to know that ben has a drinking problem ... hes spent the last 4 years living an hour away at school ... ive seen him drunk like maybe FIVE entire times in my life ... and im supposed to know that hes an alky

i state the fact that just cause ive seen him drunk, doesnt mean i can just simply tell hes got a drinking problem ... hell .. my parents have seen me drunk DOZENS of times ... doesnt mean i ever had a prob

ben wrecked his car one night when he was drunk in like febuary i think it was ..... apparently THAT was supposed to inform me ... in and of itself ..... that hes an alky

im 25 now, and well im not trying to condone drunk driving, i can admitt that when i was barely legal to drink, i had my share of close calls .... i didnt realize that "young and stupid" type acts that oooooh so many people have done ALSO mean your an alky ... like with out a doubt an alky cause of one car wreck

i also just found out today that the day b4 he went to mexico for his summer semester .. he didnt realy loose his wallet, he was drunk and CLAIMING to have lost in cause hes beligerent when drunk ... he simply decided he was gonna attempt to get out of going down there ... he was TRYNG to miss his plane cause he was drunk

i specificaly remember asking for details about his wreck .... mom wouldnt talk about it

i specificaly remember asking where "you guys found his wallet" the day RIGHT AFTER that incident ....... the WOULDNT SAY !!!! ... my mom told me not to worry

I WAS DENIED INFORMATION and im STILL expected to know all the details ... FUCKING MORONS !

ben is seriously one of those people that can be BLITZED out of his mind and still walk decently normal .... im just finding out that he can walk normal 0 seconds before managing to blow a .10 BAC

yea ..... that makes it REALY easy to see a drinking problem in someone who is never home during the summer ... someone who literaly spends 6 nights a week at friends places

my mom had one good point .... one way or another i DO manage to stay in my own little "internet and music" world when im home ..... and its cause if i didnt ... id seriously have a drinking prob just like ben

and to answer a question im sure you had earlier .... at one point i myself did have a drinking problem .... the middle months of my 21st year on this planet it was beyond hope .... i should have been dead

it was basicly an extension of my 6 years of being suicidal for 1/2 my school years ..... and thats something very few people know about me ... ive actualy attempted suicide times in life , but ive learned that my boddy just refuses to overdoes

8+ double shots of liquor, 9 beers and ten 800mg narcotic painkillers just wouldnt do the job .... i awoke 18 hours later, in the same position i passed out in ... still feeling my body tweaking out from the mix, still sweating ice cubes ... and it changed my outlook on god

thats the night i found the meaning of life .... ive said it before and ill say it again

mave fun, never act your age, live the highlife even if your broke, surround yourself with friends, never slow down, never act your age, do everything you can to experience life to the fullest, appologize right away for yuor mistakes and learn from it

the meaning of life ... its short, have fun while your here, dont die regretting that you never had the chance to (fill in the blank)

i digress, i have a wedding to prepare for, and a pissed off mother who intends to make my day miserable now

[EDIT] yea that was the short version of what i had to say ... get over it