So I guess Its time for an update, hehe.
I want to say thank you to all of you who wished me well and had "doctors" advice for me. I finally feel like my old self, accept for the occasional stomach cramps.
Since I got beat up I had my ex here, the abuser I lived with for 9 years. After this two weeks of having him here and helping with my kids, his sons in particular, I realize that he is a good man, I see that he has changed.
Of course I will never go back to him. But at times I miss his company, even now, because he like anyone else fucked up in my life, was familiar and they were in my life for a reason.
He wants me back. It is evident in every pore of his being. When he left to go home, bc 2 weeks was enough, so he said, he told me he felt ill and didnt know what was wrong. The only time I had seen this man cry was when I walked out on him. Not at his 3 yr old nieces funeral nor his mothers did he cry. I will always care for him, and my compassion compells me to forgive and continue to love him.
He made me sad because he had expectations of a "new future" with me. I dont have a future with anyone. I dont want to be with anyone now. I see what I see, the future, and now, well I am ok with being alone.
My focus is myself and my kids now. I watched him eat only twice while he stayed here. I have starved myself before when depressed, but this man doesnt have an eating disorder, it is a Lack of Eating Disorder. Should I even care? My kids still need a father
I will be responding to everyone today and tomorrow...luv to all
I want to say thank you to all of you who wished me well and had "doctors" advice for me. I finally feel like my old self, accept for the occasional stomach cramps.
Since I got beat up I had my ex here, the abuser I lived with for 9 years. After this two weeks of having him here and helping with my kids, his sons in particular, I realize that he is a good man, I see that he has changed.
Of course I will never go back to him. But at times I miss his company, even now, because he like anyone else fucked up in my life, was familiar and they were in my life for a reason.
He wants me back. It is evident in every pore of his being. When he left to go home, bc 2 weeks was enough, so he said, he told me he felt ill and didnt know what was wrong. The only time I had seen this man cry was when I walked out on him. Not at his 3 yr old nieces funeral nor his mothers did he cry. I will always care for him, and my compassion compells me to forgive and continue to love him.
He made me sad because he had expectations of a "new future" with me. I dont have a future with anyone. I dont want to be with anyone now. I see what I see, the future, and now, well I am ok with being alone.
My focus is myself and my kids now. I watched him eat only twice while he stayed here. I have starved myself before when depressed, but this man doesnt have an eating disorder, it is a Lack of Eating Disorder. Should I even care? My kids still need a father
I will be responding to everyone today and tomorrow...luv to all
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
puddincat:
how are you?
silveronthetree:
ok matey 