Im leaving tomorrow afternoon. I kinda dont want to go back to Chicago. I love it there. But there is just going to be bad memories of her. Ill be in Madison, WI for a few days too. At this point, the only reason Im going is to get out of here. Everyone I know is gone for the holidays.
So, Ill be gone for about 2 weeks. Ill update when I can.
The year end review:
Job
Its been a long hard road traveled this year. The year started out with underemployment, and ended with gainful employment. I am happy with the change. Working at the gas station and subbing really sucked. Neither job really gave me hours. I could have gone back to the ice cream truck, but I couldnt do it emotionally. Huh? How come? I did it for 8 years. I had to move on.
The new job is great no matter how much I gripe about the kids or how much they piss me off, I love the job. It was a big leap on my part. I dropped everything I had in Chicago and came down here. No place to live and very little money. It was well worth it. I didnt run away from Chicago, I ran to an opportunity. I do not regret it.
My professional life has been okay. It could be better. But Im comfortable with it. I will continue to develop my skills as an education in the coming year.
Friendships
Leaving my family and friends behind was tough. I miss them dearly. I miss stopping by devils due publishing and saying hi. I miss bar hopping with those guys. I miss playing dodgeball with Greg, Dave and kaylee. I miss Daves kids. I love to spoil them. They are lucky to have such great parents. I miss going to new comic day and having lunch with the other nerds. I miss Maria; she was a great traveling companion.
I havent made many new friends down here. Only 2, They are both kinda introverted. They like to stay home. I like to stay home too, but Id like to go out every now and then. I do, but its alone.
S. is great. We are in the same boat. We are both single men and want to meet new people.
V. is great, but since my girl left, so has she. I feel that she doesnt want to have anything to do with me. When I would call her to hang out, she couldnt or Id leave a message on the answering machine, and shed never call me back. Its like she avoiding me (she probably is). But just because Im a guy doesnt mean I want to date her. I told her I thought she was attractive, but I would never date her. Our personalities are different. Im so not a threat. Im a bit disappointed. She is (was?) a good friend.
Relationships
I really loved my ex. The year started out good, but by late June/ early July it ground to a halt. She didnt love me anymore. She wanted time to sort out her feelings. Part of it was that I wasnt gainfully employed. I changed that. Yeah, the job was in GA, but I was gainfully employed. We got back together shortly before I left for GA. She was going to come down by thanksgiving, that turned into the New Year, then now she is not.
She told me she didnt love me anymore. She didnt feel it in her heart anymore. The way she phrased it was like I was really great pair of jeans to now an old pair of pants. Really great at first but now passe.
I wanted to marry this woman, have children with her and grow old together. She does not want that life with me. That crushes me. I thought she was the one. I would have done anything for her. And she insults my intelligence by saying; youll find someone really great. Every cheesy ass line. Fuck her. When her next boyfriend treats her like shit or what not, hopefully shell realize what she gave up with me. She gave up, not me. She has a bad temper like me, but I put up with it, I put up with her pot addiction. I put up with her nagging and berating. By no means am I a saint. No matter how much we fought or how much I was mad at her, I could just look at her and say, it doesnt matter. I love her.
My heart needs to heal. But that doesnt mean I cant meet other people. Apparently she is seeing someone now. Why cant I? If I can be easily replaced, why cant she?
These albums helped me get through the tough times
Brian Wilson-Smile (Surfs Up made me cry)
The Beach Boys-Pet Sounds (God Only Knows touched my heart)
Kevin Thistas Red Terror-Wake Up Captain (Still gave me empathy)
Ken Stringfellow- Soft Command (Death of a City gave me nostalgia)
The Future
Im in Atlanta for the long haul. This is now my home. I welcome it. I do not want to fall in the same traps as I did in Chicago. I want to make new mistakes, not the same ones or dumb ones.
Im here if you want to spend time with me. Drop me a line if you want to.
Heres to the future my friends.Ken Stringfellow
null
So, Ill be gone for about 2 weeks. Ill update when I can.
The year end review:
Job
Its been a long hard road traveled this year. The year started out with underemployment, and ended with gainful employment. I am happy with the change. Working at the gas station and subbing really sucked. Neither job really gave me hours. I could have gone back to the ice cream truck, but I couldnt do it emotionally. Huh? How come? I did it for 8 years. I had to move on.
The new job is great no matter how much I gripe about the kids or how much they piss me off, I love the job. It was a big leap on my part. I dropped everything I had in Chicago and came down here. No place to live and very little money. It was well worth it. I didnt run away from Chicago, I ran to an opportunity. I do not regret it.
My professional life has been okay. It could be better. But Im comfortable with it. I will continue to develop my skills as an education in the coming year.
Friendships
Leaving my family and friends behind was tough. I miss them dearly. I miss stopping by devils due publishing and saying hi. I miss bar hopping with those guys. I miss playing dodgeball with Greg, Dave and kaylee. I miss Daves kids. I love to spoil them. They are lucky to have such great parents. I miss going to new comic day and having lunch with the other nerds. I miss Maria; she was a great traveling companion.
I havent made many new friends down here. Only 2, They are both kinda introverted. They like to stay home. I like to stay home too, but Id like to go out every now and then. I do, but its alone.
S. is great. We are in the same boat. We are both single men and want to meet new people.
V. is great, but since my girl left, so has she. I feel that she doesnt want to have anything to do with me. When I would call her to hang out, she couldnt or Id leave a message on the answering machine, and shed never call me back. Its like she avoiding me (she probably is). But just because Im a guy doesnt mean I want to date her. I told her I thought she was attractive, but I would never date her. Our personalities are different. Im so not a threat. Im a bit disappointed. She is (was?) a good friend.
Relationships
I really loved my ex. The year started out good, but by late June/ early July it ground to a halt. She didnt love me anymore. She wanted time to sort out her feelings. Part of it was that I wasnt gainfully employed. I changed that. Yeah, the job was in GA, but I was gainfully employed. We got back together shortly before I left for GA. She was going to come down by thanksgiving, that turned into the New Year, then now she is not.
She told me she didnt love me anymore. She didnt feel it in her heart anymore. The way she phrased it was like I was really great pair of jeans to now an old pair of pants. Really great at first but now passe.
I wanted to marry this woman, have children with her and grow old together. She does not want that life with me. That crushes me. I thought she was the one. I would have done anything for her. And she insults my intelligence by saying; youll find someone really great. Every cheesy ass line. Fuck her. When her next boyfriend treats her like shit or what not, hopefully shell realize what she gave up with me. She gave up, not me. She has a bad temper like me, but I put up with it, I put up with her pot addiction. I put up with her nagging and berating. By no means am I a saint. No matter how much we fought or how much I was mad at her, I could just look at her and say, it doesnt matter. I love her.
My heart needs to heal. But that doesnt mean I cant meet other people. Apparently she is seeing someone now. Why cant I? If I can be easily replaced, why cant she?
These albums helped me get through the tough times
Brian Wilson-Smile (Surfs Up made me cry)
The Beach Boys-Pet Sounds (God Only Knows touched my heart)
Kevin Thistas Red Terror-Wake Up Captain (Still gave me empathy)
Ken Stringfellow- Soft Command (Death of a City gave me nostalgia)
The Future
Im in Atlanta for the long haul. This is now my home. I welcome it. I do not want to fall in the same traps as I did in Chicago. I want to make new mistakes, not the same ones or dumb ones.
Im here if you want to spend time with me. Drop me a line if you want to.
Heres to the future my friends.Ken Stringfellow
null
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
zenobia:
your entry is sad and hopeful at the same time. I hope you're having a wonderful time in Chi-town 
When is your christmas break over? I mean when do u have to go back to work? I was planning on coming down to atl with two of my friends (anna & laura) early next month. Maybe we can meet up. Anyways hope everything is well with you
When is your christmas break over? I mean when do u have to go back to work? I was planning on coming down to atl with two of my friends (anna & laura) early next month. Maybe we can meet up. Anyways hope everything is well with you
kinkerbelle:
Thank you sweety!! 
