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horus73

Coralville,Iowa City,Rio Rancho, Albuquerque, Los Angeles,Kirkwood,Afton,St.Louis, Madison,Sun Prair

Member Since 2003

Followers 78 Following 67

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Monday Oct 10, 2005

Oct 10, 2005
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Well.....another journal update.

This one isn't much brighter than the last, as it seems, my life recently, has been shifted toward to sad side, at least for me.

Admittedly, I did do some crying this past weekend-though, I find no shame in admiting it.

On Friday, my girlfriend came over to look at some wedding gloves online. No, we're not getting married-it's for her halloween costume. She decided she was going to be 'the Corpse Bride' this year.

After finding a few pairs that looked good, we logged off, and played with my parents dog for a bit. My girlfriend has been a bit distant lately, and I wasn't sure why. My own fault for not pursuing why, we begin to go into a conversation that greatly saddens me.

She tells me, after going to her Uncle's wedding the weeekend previous, that's she's freaking out. I know what she means right away As almost every single one of her relatives asks us. 'When are you guys getting married?'. I guess it's something we've talked about a lot of, but never really were in a rush for an answer. Still, the question haunted my girlfriend all of last week.

So, she tells me that we need to spend mor etime apart from each other. I do have to agree, that we spend most of of free time together. Still, I'm a creature of habit-and tend to cling to everything familair.

So, we both started talking more, and both started to shed some tears. We love each other very much, but need to explore our lives away from each other more.

She told me this right before I was going to leave for work, and we both ended up calling in sick. We needed to talk about all of this more, and going to work, with it on our minds, would have driven me absolutely crazy.

So we do, we talk for a few horus more, hang out some, do a little shopping, and part ways for the night.

Mind you, we've only spent two nights away from each other since we've started dating. so this first night is very hard for me. It's just weird, sleeping enxt to someone you love for so long, only to not have them there. It hurts, it really does.

The next night, we rent some movies, and get some pizzas-and hang out again. It was nice, but soon again, we separate. Perhaps I'm being over sensitive, but we part again-and again, it's hurts beyond words.

I can only imagine how she feels...does she hurt? Or is she enjoying the time alone. I have a feeling we're going to talk again sometime this week about it. But, I think, this is going to be a long time thing for a while.

To top it off, I have one of the worst colds I've ever had, and I'm moody and sensitive without cause. And, as luck should have it, I gave the same cold to her, for which I feel extremely bad for.

I don't know, I just hurt all over now, emotionally and physically...it's going to be hard.

I guess only time can tell though, and I only find comfort in knowing that fate will have a large role in what may come from all of this...still, I'm very very sad frown
synnove:
i'm so sorry frown

i really do hope things work out for the two of you. if i were still in madison i'd take you out to help get your mind off things! like.. maybe laughing at the hooter's waitresses again. heehee.

take care.
Oct 10, 2005

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