****BIRTHDAY UPDATE****
So...I went to go see Kill Bill. Awesome movie--at least in my opinion.
Hung out awhile after the movie and talked in the car with friends.
Finally at 2a.m. we decide that we should head out...
...but first we stopped by to get some ice cream.
During this time we're in Roseville. I hate Roseville. The people there make me ill with their Hummers and snotty attitudes. But anyway, we stop by a grocery store to pick up the ice cream. We check out the freezer aisle then hit the liqour aisle just to check it out.
Ice cream is bought and we head out to the car. We're about to pull out.
Red lights. White lights. Flashing blue lights. A cop.
There's no one else to pull over, so obviously we're the perps. Dan is driving, so they ask for the keys to my car. Okay, so now they think that we're drunk--which they should have no reason to believe. Next thing, they ask ME to get out of the car. ME! I wasn't even driving. So now I conclude that they thing that we stole something--rather that I stole something.
COP: "Did you take anything from the store?:
Me: Nope. Not a thing.
COP: "Could you have taken anything by accident?"
Me: Didn't take a thing.
COP: "Could there be anything inadvertently stolen be in your possesion?"
Me: No.
Just because you rephrase a question, doesn't mean it's a whole new fucking question. I can only say "no" in so many ways.
He searches me. He searches Dan. He asks if he could search my car and purse. Nothing to be found.
Duh.
And here comes Officer Doofy #2. I didn't realize that it took two cops to handle shoplifting--and if I may assert--a crime that did not happen.
The cop searching the car takes note of our bag of ice cream. We bought a lot of ice cream--it's my birthday, I can have as much fucking ice cream as I goddamn want. He makes some comment about the particular kind we bought and Dan mentions that it's my birthday. " Happy Birthday," says the cop. "Fuck you," I think to myself.
He tells us that someone matching our description were reported to have stolen some alcohol.
A guy with a massive pompadour and and asian chick in Roseville--you're not going to mistake us for anyone else.
We told him yes, we were in the alcohol aisle. Yes, we can legally purchase alcohol. I grabbed a small bottle of no name Vodka and joked to Dan that this is what drunks buy to keep in their suitcases. I put it back and we were on our merry way.
So cop #1 goes inside to talk to the security peon in the store. Meanwhile big important cop #2 stays with us. We were told to lean on the hood of the car. I was having none of that. I just walked over and stood next to it. Make me lean on it, buddy.
He asks for our names so he can run a background check. Give me a break. Yadda yadda yadda, Cop 1 comes back and said they reviewed the tapes, showed me grab the alcohol, and quickly bring my hand back to my body. I'm shopping, bub. People pick up and put back shit all the time. Would they have done the same thing if I was looking at tampons? Doubt it.
The cop tells me he's concerned about ME looking at alcohol in the aisle. Fuck you, buddy--I already told you we could have legally purchased it if we wanted any.
Cops must be really fucking bored in Roseville. That peon security guy should pay closer attention before blowing his whistle.
I'm going in tomorrow and talking to the manager. I don't put up with this kind of crap.
If i sounded whiny, well fine. I'm just a little irked right now.
it's my birthday, damn it.
and this, just because it's fitting:
"Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a list of crime
My only weakness is ... well, never mind, never mind
Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push - and it's over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began ...
I was bored before I even began
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Take over"
yay for birthdays.
So...I went to go see Kill Bill. Awesome movie--at least in my opinion.
Hung out awhile after the movie and talked in the car with friends.
Finally at 2a.m. we decide that we should head out...
...but first we stopped by to get some ice cream.
During this time we're in Roseville. I hate Roseville. The people there make me ill with their Hummers and snotty attitudes. But anyway, we stop by a grocery store to pick up the ice cream. We check out the freezer aisle then hit the liqour aisle just to check it out.
Ice cream is bought and we head out to the car. We're about to pull out.
Red lights. White lights. Flashing blue lights. A cop.
There's no one else to pull over, so obviously we're the perps. Dan is driving, so they ask for the keys to my car. Okay, so now they think that we're drunk--which they should have no reason to believe. Next thing, they ask ME to get out of the car. ME! I wasn't even driving. So now I conclude that they thing that we stole something--rather that I stole something.
COP: "Did you take anything from the store?:
Me: Nope. Not a thing.
COP: "Could you have taken anything by accident?"
Me: Didn't take a thing.
COP: "Could there be anything inadvertently stolen be in your possesion?"
Me: No.
Just because you rephrase a question, doesn't mean it's a whole new fucking question. I can only say "no" in so many ways.
He searches me. He searches Dan. He asks if he could search my car and purse. Nothing to be found.
Duh.
And here comes Officer Doofy #2. I didn't realize that it took two cops to handle shoplifting--and if I may assert--a crime that did not happen.
The cop searching the car takes note of our bag of ice cream. We bought a lot of ice cream--it's my birthday, I can have as much fucking ice cream as I goddamn want. He makes some comment about the particular kind we bought and Dan mentions that it's my birthday. " Happy Birthday," says the cop. "Fuck you," I think to myself.
He tells us that someone matching our description were reported to have stolen some alcohol.
A guy with a massive pompadour and and asian chick in Roseville--you're not going to mistake us for anyone else.
We told him yes, we were in the alcohol aisle. Yes, we can legally purchase alcohol. I grabbed a small bottle of no name Vodka and joked to Dan that this is what drunks buy to keep in their suitcases. I put it back and we were on our merry way.
So cop #1 goes inside to talk to the security peon in the store. Meanwhile big important cop #2 stays with us. We were told to lean on the hood of the car. I was having none of that. I just walked over and stood next to it. Make me lean on it, buddy.
He asks for our names so he can run a background check. Give me a break. Yadda yadda yadda, Cop 1 comes back and said they reviewed the tapes, showed me grab the alcohol, and quickly bring my hand back to my body. I'm shopping, bub. People pick up and put back shit all the time. Would they have done the same thing if I was looking at tampons? Doubt it.
The cop tells me he's concerned about ME looking at alcohol in the aisle. Fuck you, buddy--I already told you we could have legally purchased it if we wanted any.
Cops must be really fucking bored in Roseville. That peon security guy should pay closer attention before blowing his whistle.
I'm going in tomorrow and talking to the manager. I don't put up with this kind of crap.
If i sounded whiny, well fine. I'm just a little irked right now.
it's my birthday, damn it.
and this, just because it's fitting:
"Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a list of crime
My only weakness is ... well, never mind, never mind
Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push - and it's over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began ...
I was bored before I even began
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Take over"
yay for birthdays.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
and thanks its good to know that I am not a freak and people understand.