horrordarling

people amaze me. just when i think i've figured someone out, they go and prove me wrong.

there's a guy in my argumentation class that seems to be a complete opposite of me. ultra-conservative by my standards, so i strongly disagree with him when he makes any comments about politics. i thought i would hate him.

so i'm pacing back and forth before class; nervous about a speech i have to give that i just came up with at 330 this morning. he comes up to me and we do the normal polite bs. he tries to give me advice. i'm frantic, my nerves are shot, i haven't had anything eat and i haven't slept. i'm shaking, i just want to throw up and go home.

class starts. finally i go up to speak, people laugh at my intro (they were supposed to, thank god), but i felt like it all went downhill after that. i was shaking, my hands, my voice, my fucking knees. i felt like i choked. i got my points across, sure, but i don't know if it was audible or coherent to the class.

i sit down, still shaking. feeling like the world had just collapsed. everything was a blur. the guy i thought i would hate looked over at me and said, "Alexiss, good job." the world stood still when he said that, and even if he was lying, it made me feel better.

it may seem like a frivolous thing, but that really made my day. i have never regretted judging someone so much. somehow, i feel euphoric.

even though it's next to impossible that he'll read this:

Thanks Brandon, you'll never know how much you've affected me.