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hophead

Derkaderkastan

Member Since 2004

Followers 34 Following 49

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Monday Jul 11, 2005

Jul 11, 2005
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I was just going thru some files on my computer and found an update i forgot i wrote when i was in KY for the family reunion.

It's a pretty honest entry....

It's Thursday night...I got in KY around 2.

Right now i'm sitting on my dads porch with a Newcastle and my laptop...listening to my i-tunes
and writing a journal entry obviously.

I haven't sat here since my dad lived here....when he was alive.

back in 2000.

(break)

my cousins are here right now...fucking crazy,,,haven't seen these kids since they were little. They are all 18-20 now.

(break)

aha, my little cousin just got me high...

(break)

holy shit my sister and I are stoned as fuck...we just covered all these ugly pictures in the dads place
with towels...Sorry dad, but they are truly horrible pictures...I'll make it up to you by painting some beautiful
pictures of fish that you would love to catch on a good fishing day....

(break)

Its Friday...been a really boring day. Didn't do much today except eat and swim.
Its only 6:30 and I've seriously ate 4 times already. They are serving the next meal at 7:30.
Seesh...

(break)

Fuck i'm just really bored right now. here in a half an hour all the women are all meeting at my (second) cousins house.
I'm really not excited about this...

I went on a walk down the road earlier with my nephew (he is 4 1/2 years old). We got to a
part of the creek (that runs along the road)
and i started to walk in it to see if i could find a craw daddy to show Carter. Anyway I was walking in and he goes "Amber! There's a snake."
I looked to where he was pointing and realized that i was a foot away from it. It scared the crap out of us because copperheads are pretty rampant around here.

It was only a rat snake though.

(update)

Friday night,

I'm feeling a bit lonely.

fuckwads.....family just arrived here....it never ends.

I need some alone time damnit...

(update)

shit my other cousin just got us high....
damn these kids smoke a lot of pot.
Don't blame them though...there is NOTHING to do around here.
Jesus I laugh a lot when im high. I kinda feel stupid but at the same time i don't really give a shit.
...derrrr...*sigh*
Listening to Thursday.
Van turned me on to these guys.
Fucking love this album. War all the time is an amazing song.
I want to quote lyrics but i wont because no really knows what they mean to each other.

ahhh well....

My dads grave is 5 minutes from here. I can't bring myself to visit it. I've written numerous letters to put at his grave
and i brought them with me, but i just CANT go up that hill. Too fucking sad still. 5 years and i still miss him like crazy. frown

I miss people in general like crazy... I get very attached and find it hard to "let go"

Such is life.

p.s. Paradise isn't anything you can look for. It isn't anywhere you can go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life and if you find that moment it lasts forever.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
deathcharger:
damn those stoner cousins.... lol now back to my game... Must....destroy...all ...humans!! RAAGHHH!!!!

[Edited on Jul 12, 2005 7:40AM]
Jul 12, 2005
cureforcancer:
Well miss pixel, it is time I bid this site a fond farewell. it was nice while it lasted. If you ever want to get ahold of me for some abstract reason, my e-mail is skaluki@siu.edu.
Jul 13, 2005

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