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hophead

Derkaderkastan

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Oct 13, 2005

Oct 13, 2005
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Today is one of those days

It has nothing to do with any circumstances or happenings of the day, nor anything to do with anyone else Ive come into contact with. Its just this feeling of complete contentment, comfort, and general wonderment

There is just something about days like this when the weather is cool and comfortable, the sun is shining in this certain way, and my windows are open I cant help but recall my earliest memories as a child. One that I always think of right away is me sitting upstairs on my bed at my dads house, sucking on a blow pop and watching the birds from my open window. Weather like this makes me feel the way that I remember feeling in that memory as a child.

I often wonder why I have only these few particular memories as a toddler. Why do I remember the play kitchen in the white room, but not the memory of being stuck outside in the middle of winter and almost dying? Why do I only remember silly things?

In one of the earliest ones I remember being in an enormous all white room that was forever long. I was playing with a play kitchen, and behind me, a good 15 feet, were about 20 people all sitting horizontal to me in a single line of chairs. I remember thinking it a bit odd that they were watching me, but I was having so much fun playing with the play kitchen so I didnt really care. In reality I was in the hospital after recovering from almost dying from hypothermia(I was 4 or 5 at the time) I was playing with a play kitchen while several social workers evaluated me to determine if I was being abused by my parents. I know this because I was discussing some memories with my mom trying to figure out what was going on because they all seemed so fantasy like.

My earliest memories are all kind of strange

Being in a crib and being handed this white fuzzy stuffed animal cat.

Sitting in a radio flyer and my dad pulling me down to the store on the corner to get candy for us (me and my older siblings).

Standing up on a chair to reach the tub of margarine that I was eating spoonful after spoonful of.

Accidentally dropping my pink panther stuffed animal in the toilet and my dad telling me that I needed to get rid and I was really sad.

throwing this black beady eyed stuffed animal bear to the ground as hard as possible because I was convinced it was possessed by something evil that was going to kill me, and then picking it up because I felt bad for it

ummyeah, thats about it.

So Anyway, yeah, itd be nice if I could be in this content state of mind everyday

wink
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
boggs:
I remember being in the hospital and being pinned down by my dad as the doctor shoved a tubular vaccuum into my ear. They were trying to suck a turquoise blue aquarium rock out of my ear that I had shoved in there and it was incredibly painful.

I kept that rock for years afterwards.


Contentment at the world around you is an incredible feeling.
Oct 14, 2005
boggs:
I gotta get outta this town!......
Oct 16, 2005

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