Late nights always hold a certain amount of creepiness that I kind of enjoy. A little bit ago I almost though I seen some white figure walking towards me out of the corner of my eye but i'm pretty sure it's all the crap on my glasses. I swear these things are fucking old I really need a new pair.
I now have black hair once again. This must be the 4th or 5th time but it's been about two years since the last time. It looks pretty good I'm happy with it.
I'm pretty sure I want to join the peace corps once I get done with my BA which should be pretty soon. I'm going to fill out the application in a few days and I'll see how it goes. It'd be nice if I could just get away for a few years or maybe it would even be nice if I could settle in some little country that's out in the middle of nowhere in some little village maybe even hooking up with a little village girl starting a little village family
I would defintly enjoy a nice simple life away from all the ego and ignorance that seems to prosper around here (US).
I want to sleep but don't feel that tired. I never feel tired but never feel awake it's just this dull in between feeling. I want some sleeping pills or maybe some weed.
I need to get a new picture if I can ever take a good one.
I now have black hair once again. This must be the 4th or 5th time but it's been about two years since the last time. It looks pretty good I'm happy with it.
I'm pretty sure I want to join the peace corps once I get done with my BA which should be pretty soon. I'm going to fill out the application in a few days and I'll see how it goes. It'd be nice if I could just get away for a few years or maybe it would even be nice if I could settle in some little country that's out in the middle of nowhere in some little village maybe even hooking up with a little village girl starting a little village family
I would defintly enjoy a nice simple life away from all the ego and ignorance that seems to prosper around here (US).
I want to sleep but don't feel that tired. I never feel tired but never feel awake it's just this dull in between feeling. I want some sleeping pills or maybe some weed.
I need to get a new picture if I can ever take a good one.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I really don't know if I can let my guard down to people I mean I can barely do it here. I feel the moment I do that I will be left behind which is something I can't stomach anymore. Maybe it's easier having nothing because then you can't lose anything. I'm just alone and feel like it will always be that way. Really I'm just the type of person that needs a certain amount of intimantcy but don't know how to go about it.
I don't know what I'm doing right now steph but I'm just going with the flow.
Oh what ex were you talking about anyways? That does sound weird to date someone that sounds like a copy of you kind of like he's looking for another you or maybe he just sticks to a certain type. I don't think I have ever dated anyone that can be compared to another in any way at all. Fuck who am I kidding though I rarely date and when I do it's people I don't like all that much. I'm much too intimidated to talk to people I actually like
I just feel rejection when it really isn't there and I just end up feeling pissy towards people for no real reason.
yeah, that was freaky to me. the one he dated before me wad my complete opposite. i think he did develop some affection for punkish type girls after dating me. he used to get mad when i would see some hot punk or goth girl and point her out. he would say that wasn't attractive. guess he thinks differently now.
i guess people start to desire things after they get used to them. they develop some sort of affection. on the other hand, many people do the complete opposite. like jay won't even consider dating any girl that is punk or goth or whatever. he's strictly about the preppy-ish girls.
eh. i myself don't really care what someone is into or how they dress. i was about to say or what kind of music they liten to but my god, sometimes that is annoying. i didn't care before but the last psycho listen to classic rock. jeez. i couldn't take that crap anymore. i can tolerate almost anything but... eh, it became more annoying as he did. i suppose that it was him and not the music as to why the music bothered me so much.
well, as for your lack of intimacy, once you meet the right person you'll let your guard down a bit. well, i can't say you for sure, but for myself and everyone i know that doesn't like people to get too close it's true. when i meet someone i fidn worthy of my time i let me guard down little by little.
i do it with some people. it's easier online for me, but it also depends on who. i was thinking about this last night for some reason. oh, i remember it was because i went by lily's old board. anyway, i was thinking about how i've know you, lily, and shamim for nearly 5 years now and how much i let each of you know me and vice versa. not point to this really other than i guess it always just depends on how comfortable we are with someone and if they can or can't hurt us in any way.
I understand the rejection feeling when it's not there. i always get weird vibes like this once a month but i know what that's from. mine is pretty severe where i'm sure i need anri-depressants during that time and it's just like when people need them normally, so i'm just saying that i understand that feeling (even if not all the time). I still think you should take something for it, and i know you're opposed to that. hey, why not research eastern medicine if you don't always agree with western. can't hurt, huh?