hopelessdope

Sometimes it feels like the only way out of all the crap I'm in is to kill myself. I'm much to selfish to do that though I suppose otherwise I'd be rotting in some grave by now. I want things I want to experience things I want to be happy I want to be sad I want to fuck I want to hate I want to be in love. Besides the only way I could kill myself is if no one ever found my body I don't want people touching me after I die that's my biggest fear for some reason. I don't want anyone to see me dead.

I want to just go far far away and live in some third world country. I hear about how great where I am now is but it's just too much for me. I want simple I just like to read, occassionally drink, and be around a few people i feel comfortable with. I could be some farmer or fisherman or even own some little book store that I only make enough to feed myself and buy occassional book. Fuck everything else fuck excess fuck not feeling proper if you don't own and consume everything. I suppose I would miss the music at times but give me a guitar I'll fucking make up my own on a nice warm nice on the beach under a fool moon after I had a bit too much tequila that is my fucking heaven. The moon is my damn God ... that is all I need nothing more nothing less. NIce simple and real I want to live in a world where paris hilton and all the want to be's do not exist or even whisper.

That is what I want why wasn't I given it?