I disowned my family today.
Today my sister called.
She wanted to invite me to my niece's birthday thats this Saturday. Why do I get plenty of notice for the kids and no notice for my brother and sister. We had a really hard childhood so we don't show affection like everyone else but don't they know I Love them? Don't they know I want to be near them? I don't see anyone anymore. It hurts me A LOT. It will only be a matter of time before I don't love them anymore. I don't love unconditionally. Children love their parents unconditionally. I have conditions to recieve my love. You must be involved in my life. I have side friends but they know I wont do a fucking thing for them. I have MY FRIENDS and I can name them for you. Sara D, and my boyfriend Tim. You do not fuck with them. I will die for them. I will give them everything I own for their happiness. The only reason I do this is because they will do the same for me. I have other friends on lower tiers you could say. Ok I'll put it this way. If I know you wouldn't do it for me, I wont be doing it for you. This is a result of getting fucked over too many fucking times.
Ok.. Well my brother and sister are not even my friends... really they aren't family... I could care less... I'd be devastated if they died but at what point will that go away too? I don't care if they are sick. I dont care if they have a babysitter. I just don't care. BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE. You can't tell sister anything without her telling brother and he'll eventually tell mom. Really you can't tell one of them something to be kept to themselves. They tell each other everything. But.. I've kept my sister's smoking habit in the closet for 5 years... I think I wont if anyone in the family calls me.
Anyway. My sister called. and I told her to disappear.
I'm through. finished. done. over.
I disowned my family today.
Today my sister called.
She wanted to invite me to my niece's birthday thats this Saturday. Why do I get plenty of notice for the kids and no notice for my brother and sister. We had a really hard childhood so we don't show affection like everyone else but don't they know I Love them? Don't they know I want to be near them? I don't see anyone anymore. It hurts me A LOT. It will only be a matter of time before I don't love them anymore. I don't love unconditionally. Children love their parents unconditionally. I have conditions to recieve my love. You must be involved in my life. I have side friends but they know I wont do a fucking thing for them. I have MY FRIENDS and I can name them for you. Sara D, and my boyfriend Tim. You do not fuck with them. I will die for them. I will give them everything I own for their happiness. The only reason I do this is because they will do the same for me. I have other friends on lower tiers you could say. Ok I'll put it this way. If I know you wouldn't do it for me, I wont be doing it for you. This is a result of getting fucked over too many fucking times.
Ok.. Well my brother and sister are not even my friends... really they aren't family... I could care less... I'd be devastated if they died but at what point will that go away too? I don't care if they are sick. I dont care if they have a babysitter. I just don't care. BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE. You can't tell sister anything without her telling brother and he'll eventually tell mom. Really you can't tell one of them something to be kept to themselves. They tell each other everything. But.. I've kept my sister's smoking habit in the closet for 5 years... I think I wont if anyone in the family calls me.
Anyway. My sister called. and I told her to disappear.
I'm through. finished. done. over.
I disowned my family today.
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*sniffle*
haven't many of us been there...?
You're tougher now
and that's all that counts!