hood

call me a creature of habit, call me set in my ways, call me whatever you fuckin like but I crave my own space, I need time on my own away from everyone, this is why I had my loft converted, it was supposed to be my hide away, my place of Zen and relaxation but has it turned out that way? NO!!

I mean I think I was more than reasonable, I bought a house and allowed my mother to retire and live here rent free, I gave her the run of the entire house with the exception of my room and my loft and my garage, but instead my mother has the house, my sister is round here every FUCKING NIGHT!!!! And EVERY FUCKIN WEEKEND!!!! My garage is full to the rafters with her shit, and even though she has just got herself a new house with a garage of her own she tells me that she doesn't have the space to move her shit because she wants to keep her car parked in her garage every night, not only this but with my sister comes my nephew, she spends all her time on the PC and my nephew spends it up in my loft playing fuckin video games, he's only four for fucks sake and instead of going outside in the sun and having fun and making friends he just comes up here. and when I try to tell my sister to take him out she says "I work all fuckin week don't I deserve some time to be on my own?" and when I say that I want time on my own too I get told to stop being selfish and to just let him play, its driving me up the fucking wall, not to mention that I for some reason have to ask my mother permission to invite friends round to stay or visit. And if I try and push the matter she tells me "it's my house as well don't I have a say it what goes on?"

you know I had the choice of either buying this house or moving back to California and I opted for this place as I felt I owed my family for looking after me, but I never expected to become the houses fucking walking mat and the family fucking taxi driver, I am so fucked off right now, my doctors are constantly saying that I need to be in a stress free and relaxed environment as the chances of me suffering a major setback are high, and right now I am more stressed and less relaxed than I have ever been, I get told I'm two different people constantly by my family saying that when I am with my friends I'm happy and relaxed and all that good shit, but when I am at home I am moody and grumpy and a shit to be around, yet when I try to explain to them that the reason I am like that is because they take fucking liberties and piss me off constantly they say that I'm just being nasty and that it's not fair to blame them for my problems!!!!! I could fucking scream at times!!!!!! if I had the extra cash I would just move out and rent somewhere else, and I'm not kidding if I did I really wouldn't tell them where I was for the simple reason that I wouldn't want them around, shit it's getting to the point where I don't even want to speak to them, I'm 31 years of age, and I have absolutely no say in what goes on in my own fucking home!!!!!!!!