homewrecker

Confucius say:
The best way to prepare for the 4th is to buy a fifth on the 3rd.

Well ladies and gentlemen, another Independence Day has come and gone. I trust everyone honored our country proudly. What better way to celebrate our great nation's ability to independently govern itself than by drinking beer and playing with explosives?

The greatest part about the 4th of July is that people suddenly stop caring that you blow things up. Every other time I give incendiaries to children or fire projectiles at the neighborhood cats, people pretend to get all mad and offended. But on this magical day and this day alone, we're free to do all the violently explosive things we've been bottling up all year long... from such stressful moments as when your boss yells at you for being late to work, or when traffic just won't budge, or when you get busted for beating your kids and pets and your parole officer suddenly wants double his usual bribe.

Neighbors can be a pain, though, can't they? Always whining and complaining, "Do you have to be so loud?", "Don't aim that thing at my kids!", and "Have you seen my cat?". But on the 4th of July, if someone were to say, light a several full sticks of dynamite and leave them on his doorstep while ringing the bell and running, the suspect list doesn't only include me for once!

I could carry on, but I thought you'd more enjoy a video of the most patriotic dog I've ever seen.

Beware of Dog

Hope everyone had a happy fourth.