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hollywoodrocks

Tulsa Ok / PHX AZ / HOLLYWOOD/ BUT MY HEART IS IN TOKYO.

Member Since 2002

Followers 23 Following 7

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Thursday Jan 01, 2004

Jan 1, 2004
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I met my ex for lunch today. I arived early and I was able to see her get out of her car. I caught myself saying.. WOW.. she's so beautiful.. (I'm telling you I had one of those Movie moments where everything went slow motion.. and I was just in Awe of her.) As corny as it sounds.. I swear she looked like an angle..

We talked a lot about our relationship, and she told me about how much she cared about me, and that she appreciated all of the things that I had done for her. She said that I helped to change her.. I told her the same. She also said that I was not like her other boyfriends because she could never think of anything that I did to upset her.. She says that kind of concerns her new boyfriend, because we never had those kinds of problems.. so I will never be the asshole ex-boyfriend.

We also talked about her new boyfriend.. (He sounds like a nice guy, but I just can't handle it right now).

I told her how much I still care for her, and how I have never stoped loving her. I know, maybe that's not cool, but I have not seen or really talked to her in a year (a choice we made together) but man here I was sitting right in front of the only person I have every really loved.. and I just couldn't keep it in.

on the 55 mile drive back to where my mother lives.. I called my ex, and thanked her for seeing me, and then it happend.. I was just overwhelmed.. ((( all week we have talked and she cried every time but now))) the tears just flowed .. I couldn't stop crying.. I just cried and cried and cried.. Then she started to cry.. we just had a long tear filed talk and it was good, we both know that we care.. and for me that sucks.. because she has someone else in her life.. and I'm left sitting here.. alone and confused.. really really confused..

frown

Oh.. one really happy note though.. she asked me if I remembered a time when we lived together when We were sitting on our bed with pillows up against the wall and she just had a thought.. she said.. Jerry you know what? I'm HAPPY RIGHT NOW. ( and it was because of me smile I made her happy. She realized a moment in her life where .. wow.. she was happy.. right then and there. I thought that was so cool, ((( man as she told me that... it almost broke me down)))
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xxanastasiaxx:
if I ever find myself in LA (still trying to make it out that way)
I'll buy you a martini ( or a few)
I'll wax poetically (or pathetically)
maybe there will actually be words of wisdom (doubtful)
I'm also more then happy to just listen.

smile
Jan 2, 2004
thepromdate:
it's good that you remember happy things. sometimes i forget that there were good times, because i can usually only think of the last half year or so that was nothing but crying, sadness, mistrust, and fighting. oh, and not having an asshole ex-boyfriend is really weird. nice, but just really strange. and although we're friendly, i could never in a million years admit to him that i'm in love more than i ever have been and really happy. it just seems too harsh. so, even though you guys are still friends, don't you think it's best to not know certain things? because, although you're happy for her (right?), you don't really want to hear about her new boyfriend, do you?
Jan 2, 2004

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