holliday

My dearest, dearest...most beloved, lifeline to the outside world...

PLEASE forgive my going awol for so long!

Things have been bad...and when I say bad...I mean BAD.

And by bad I mean...y'know...I can't even be funny right now...I can't even think of some little anology or antictode to lighten the mood...

Shit...

Was...

Bad...

Darker than some of my most dark moments...and that's saying quite a bit.

I faced down almost certain eviction...
My electricty was cut off again...
I ran out of food...
I ran out of gas for my car...

Worst of all...I lost my internet connection...

I had applications in at every fucking bar I could find...and nothing panned out.

It was a sink hole...and for a minute I didn't think I'd make it out...even though I've always managed to make it out all the times before...

For the very first time in almost a year I actually regretted making the move here...

Lost and alone...starving and really, really sober...shit was bleak...

Stealing wads of toilet paper from school every day because they have those gigantic rolls all locked up that you can't break into and you can't afford to buy any for yourself bleak...

BUT...

Thanks to all of those who reached out...who WANTED to help but had no resources...and a truly heartfelt dose of gratitude to the one person (who will remain nameless to protect them you know who you are) who came through for me and kept the roof over my head at the very last fucking minute.

And while my situation is less than ideal...I am happy to report that I'm making money and my bills will soon be paid...this here internet bill was the first one to be scratched off my list...

I continue to be doing pretty well in school, despite the enormous stress and days without food...

I am not yet able to look into the future...eleven weeks ahead...to when I graduate...and talk about the plans I'd like to have...

But I can look into tomorrow and know that I will be shopping for food...trying to save my car insurance...keeping my electricity turned on...and FINALLY have money to do some fucking laundry...cuz seriously folks...I stink!!!