Thinking about my friends in New York...
It's a Saturday night...in the city that never sleeps...
Right now I bet people are at home primping to go out...
The bars won't be real good and crowded 'til 10PM.
They'll be at Doc's.
They'll be at Otto's.
They'll be at Motorcity.
They'll be at 7B.
They'll be at Acebar.
One thing's for sure, they won't be alone.
Told a classmate of mine that I'd try to get to his house for drinks tonight...but I can't seem to get myself dressed and out of the house...
Listening to Social Distortion, White Light/White heat/White trash instead...
An album that became my mantra during those tough months before I moved away from home...
Thinking about who I was then...and what I was facing.
Thinking about my loved one in Pennsylvania...
And how funny it is to think that it doesn't matter whether or not I love him. Or whether or not he loves me...since he'd never admit it to himself or to me. And goodness forbid he admit he wanted me to be with him...
Funny how sometimes love isn't enough...
Facing down another long road in my life...
To give up my love...
To give up the city I called home...
To give up all the friends I'd made there...
Again.
I feel like breaking things...
Like taking my dishes and breaking them...
Have you ever felt that way?
Like the sound and the feeling of the breaking dishes will somehow remind you that you're still alive in there somewhere?
I'd like to think that I am...but sometimes I'm not so sure...
It's a Saturday night...in the city that never sleeps...
Right now I bet people are at home primping to go out...
The bars won't be real good and crowded 'til 10PM.
They'll be at Doc's.
They'll be at Otto's.
They'll be at Motorcity.
They'll be at 7B.
They'll be at Acebar.
One thing's for sure, they won't be alone.
Told a classmate of mine that I'd try to get to his house for drinks tonight...but I can't seem to get myself dressed and out of the house...
Listening to Social Distortion, White Light/White heat/White trash instead...
An album that became my mantra during those tough months before I moved away from home...
Thinking about who I was then...and what I was facing.
Thinking about my loved one in Pennsylvania...
And how funny it is to think that it doesn't matter whether or not I love him. Or whether or not he loves me...since he'd never admit it to himself or to me. And goodness forbid he admit he wanted me to be with him...
Funny how sometimes love isn't enough...
Facing down another long road in my life...
To give up my love...
To give up the city I called home...
To give up all the friends I'd made there...
Again.
I feel like breaking things...
Like taking my dishes and breaking them...
Have you ever felt that way?
Like the sound and the feeling of the breaking dishes will somehow remind you that you're still alive in there somewhere?
I'd like to think that I am...but sometimes I'm not so sure...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
i have only recently been able to listen to white heat.... again. it took a couple of years, but now i just listen and know how goddamn good the music really is, without my eyes welling up into torrents of blinding tears.
this ongoing struggle with you breaks my heart. but you have it! you are so close!almost done with school? and then im sure you will embarc on annother amazing journey of growth and re-discovery....
you are a godess.... im bowing at your feet.