Ran across an old partner in crime yesterday...yet again...we haven't spoken in at least a year and a half, if not more.
Spent some time catching up with her about all the things we've been up to over that time and laughing about the redheaded stubbornness that seems to always lead us to these long periods of not talking to each other. We're so seriously retarded...
Seems she always pops back into my life at the perfect time too...
Inspired by my one year anniversary here on SG and running into this friend of mine...I rewound my SG journal all the way back to the beginning and read all my old entries.
All the things I've been through...mostly part of my plan to get out here to Texas. Then reading those early entries when I'd just started school.
We talked about how much we'd changed and I admitted that I sure HOPED I'd grown up some since the last time we spoke.
Truth is...sometimes I don't think that I've grown at all.
Sometimes I feel as though I stagnated, especially emotionally, sometime before getting here.
Feels like I've been in survival mode for so long.
I miss that inspired person I used to be.
I realize that what I'm doing inspires those around me, and it always helps to hear that.
But most of the time I can't muster that feeling in myself.
Until just recently...where I seem to have turned some kind of corner in my time here and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As the weather begins to break, and Spring returns...
I feel my emotional winter breaking too...
It's true that I've been dumped, employment put on hold, electricity shut off twice, fired, and drove my car into a ditch for the first time...all in the past two months...
And it's true that I don't have money to pay my rent...and sometimes don't have any food for me or my cats...
And it's true that last night I was forced to restock my whiskey supply with Ten High instead of Jim Beam...
But really...who cares?
I can feel the clouds clearing out and my future opening up.
I can feel this long road of survival coming to an end...
Now the question is...what do I want to do with it?
Spent some time catching up with her about all the things we've been up to over that time and laughing about the redheaded stubbornness that seems to always lead us to these long periods of not talking to each other. We're so seriously retarded...
Seems she always pops back into my life at the perfect time too...
Inspired by my one year anniversary here on SG and running into this friend of mine...I rewound my SG journal all the way back to the beginning and read all my old entries.
All the things I've been through...mostly part of my plan to get out here to Texas. Then reading those early entries when I'd just started school.
We talked about how much we'd changed and I admitted that I sure HOPED I'd grown up some since the last time we spoke.
Truth is...sometimes I don't think that I've grown at all.
Sometimes I feel as though I stagnated, especially emotionally, sometime before getting here.
Feels like I've been in survival mode for so long.
I miss that inspired person I used to be.
I realize that what I'm doing inspires those around me, and it always helps to hear that.
But most of the time I can't muster that feeling in myself.
Until just recently...where I seem to have turned some kind of corner in my time here and can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As the weather begins to break, and Spring returns...
I feel my emotional winter breaking too...
It's true that I've been dumped, employment put on hold, electricity shut off twice, fired, and drove my car into a ditch for the first time...all in the past two months...
And it's true that I don't have money to pay my rent...and sometimes don't have any food for me or my cats...
And it's true that last night I was forced to restock my whiskey supply with Ten High instead of Jim Beam...
But really...who cares?
I can feel the clouds clearing out and my future opening up.
I can feel this long road of survival coming to an end...
Now the question is...what do I want to do with it?
~cheers