holliday

Fear not fellow dreamers...

Not five minutes after hitting the 'post' button on that last journal did I actually pick up a guitar...

I'd been left alone in the house...a house filled with guitars and all kinds of instruments...

I'd MEANT to eat some dinner...take a bath...y'know...the regular...and yet, for some reason, as I was passing by the rows of guitars I found myself thinking...hmmm, why not...nobody has to know...

So I sat on the floor and played...for two hours!

I remember my chords and stuff, for the most part...and then the most extraordinary thing happened...
Since I couldn't remember any of the tunes I once knew...I started to compose my own...words and all...
Something I've never in my life ever done.

Don't know that they were any good or anything, but I suppose that's not the point.

I found myself thinking...y'know...my love of cars was once something I wasn't allowed to have either.
And yet, somehow...here I am.

My love of cars and desire to work on them was once something that broke my heart...
And yet...here I am.

Funny too, that it was the one thing I had the least background in, that I chose to take back.
Showing up to school, I hardly knew how to drive and couldn't inventory my own toolbox...
And yet...here I am.

True too, that the hardest part of getting trained in auto body wasn't neccessarily learning about the cars...it was my wrestling with and finally giving up the ghost.

I did it though...and while I still have to remind myself that the ghost is gone...it gets easier every day.

My life is filled with people who refuse to accept the ghost...even if they can admit it's there...
They admire my having played the guitar, piano, violin, drums, and tin whistle...even if they never hear me play.

But man, do they want to hear me.
I suppose the question is, am I ready to hear myself?

Fear not, fellow dreamers...I have a feeling I might not have much of a choice...

Last night I finally picked up a pinstriping brush again too...