holliday

Dear R,

You'll never know how much it meant to me for you and your family to take me in for Christmas because I have no family of my own.

You'll never know how it touched this cold heart to see that you had a stocking just for me on the mantle.

How you'd refuse to let me leave to try and beat the storm....because you preferred to have me snowed in with you all.

I remember how you'd said when you first met me you thought I might bite...it was so true back then.
You loved me anyway.

I loved to see you and D hug and kiss and talk...you were so in love. I remember thinking how I only hoped to be so lucky one day.

You always treated me with respect and spoke to me as an equal.
I loved to see you smile when I told you the crazy antics I was up to in my life.

I wasn't there...but I know you did...when you heard I had quit my desk job to go build cars instead...
Even though you were in the hospital waiting for your diagnosis...

I only hope, that for one fleeting moment...your soul might have sped by me here...while I was out on the front stoop having my morning coffee and smoke under this beautiful desert sky...

I only hope you got to see how happy I am...

I only hope you know that you were no small part of the support system that got me here.

I only hope you know how grateful I feel for having known you...
Such a beautiful, intelligent, warm, and loving human being.
You may not have been MY mother...but you were to me in many ways the safe haven a mother ought to be.

I only hope you know how much I loved you.

Love,
Me

p.s. Dear God,
Please, please, please, hold her and her family and loved ones close to your heart now...
I'm too far away to do it myself...
And if you have the time, can you hold me too?
I'm not always as strong as I look...and I sure am sad today.
Thanks...