holliday

It's been a super long and exhausting week...

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Working under my new mentor has been a blessing.
Despite the fact he calls me Fifi and gives me lots of good natured shit...he also takes the time to let me know the things I'm doing right, well, and improving on.

He shares with me his repair plans as though I were a worthy listener...and he listens to mine.

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Unfortunately my boss still seems to be waiting for me to quit so he'll be free...I've decided to stay out of spite.

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Again...homesickness rears it's ugly head. Like a virus I can't rid myself of.

The sadness and exhaustion get the best of me...and I sit here on a Saturday night, with my bourbon and beer, planning out the trip home...which highways I'll take...a stop off in Houston for a bit to party and earn some money...

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If I weren't so torn about California vs. NYC...I suppose I wouldn't be so upset.

Which clearly means there's some REASON I'm here.
I KNOW there's a reason...

I only pray that it shows itself...and soon...

I know the universe has it's plan...
I know it throws things into my way and lets me make my own decisions...
I know I ended up here in California rightly so...
But fuck if I can see anything past that.

I continue to look for signs...one way or the other...
I'd hate for the universe to be showing me something and miss it...

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But for now...I'm going to finish my beer, and my cheesy hallmark channel movie...and pray for pleasant dreams...