holliday

I hate California.

I mean, it's true...the Pacific is beautiful.
I can buy my liquor at the grocery store.

This place...I dunno...seems to have so much promise.
Seems to have everything I might need to make things work.

And yet, they don't.

***

Every weekend I just lay around in my bed.
The weather yesterday was so beautiful, I wanted to go DO something. But alass...there's nothing. So I just got back into bed.

Last weekend I was so bored I actually went in to work!

***

I say that I need to get out and meet people...but looking around at the people here...I can honestly say, I don't want SHIT to do with them.

Not with these mercedes driving hippies and smoked out surfer college students. No...I can honestly say I don't want to meet these people.

***

So...I try to reach out...send emails to some people with similar interests...car clubs...ask what's going on in these parts.

And I get no response.

***

I hate to live my life with regrets...but right now I'm really wishing I'd taken that job with mercedes in NYC. And the truth is, I WOULD have, if I'd known at the time the shop was going to remain in the city and not be built out in north jersey.

***

Well, I have 9 months left on my contract with mercedes.
After that, I can do anything I want.

Run off into the hills...

Run back into a city somewhere...

***

I suppose this little shit town of Marina would be perfect if I had someone special to keep my occupied.

But alass...it's not the case and it never will be...

So I'm stuck here in the twilight zone between socal and norcal. Wishing I had the money to fly my ass home for a weekend to remind myself what it's like to have friends...

But instead...I'm off to do laundry...it's my very exciting plan for the week.

EDITED TO ADD:
Ok...I'm gonna keep pushing for Cali. I've got two events on my schedule which will involve leaving the house...

One is SG PROM. Which should be awesome, since I didn't get to go to my prom in high school. Or any other dance for that matter. Of course, I'll be going stag and I won't know anyone.