holliday

Today I got the opportunity to have a sit down with my boss.

I got to tell him about this huge breakthrough I'd recently had in regards to my work. Something that got me from thinking I'm retarded and make a better sex worker than body tech...to realizing it was simply an uncommunicated idea from my mentor. It had been sudden like a lightbulb popping in my head...realizing what his vision was and why he'd say I was wrong about everything...realizing I hadn't been wrong but we'd been shooting for two different things.

Going to work has been a blessing ever since then with this weight lifted.

***

Our conversation then turned to some of what we've learned from our parents (good and bad) and our upbringing (good and bad).

I told him, the fact that I'm here in the shop at all is phenomenal. Not only because I'm a woman but because it goes against everything ingrained in me as a child with a terminally ill parent....which is...to be quiet...don't make a mess...keep to yourself...and above all, DON'T ROCK THE BOAT.

I told him that like himself, I'd one day found myself suffocated by my own life.

And how for the first time I did something that wasn't "right," wasn't "responsible," and definitely wasn't expected of me.

Instead I'd made a decision that came straight from my heart about who I was and what I wanted.

I said to him, Gene...not only am I breaking cultural and societal bounds...but I'm breaking free of my past.

I said, it's true that I get paid less here than I was in my office job, but I said, I come to work and I bang on metal and I roll around in the dirt. I get to do all the things I couldn't as a kid and I leave work happy.

***

We hugged at the end of our conversation, though he seemed nervous about the legal ramifications of hugging a female employee (my being his first)...

I assured him it was perfectly ok to hug me and I went to sit in my flat black magical minivan for some lunch.

I sat there for a moment, reflecting on our conversation and the things I'd said....and I said to myself, Holliday...you didn't just rock the boat...you jumped ship and swam out to sea."

***

P.S. I GOT MY RAISE!!!