holliday

I've been in a strange place lately.

As you all know, the past year or so has been really hard.
There wasn't any time for reflection, meditation, relaxation, or inspiration. It was a day to day battle to keep putting one foot in front of the other and do what I needed to do.

Now that I'm out of school I can finally feel the tension releasing itself.

I've taken the time to re-read some of my super old journal entries written in a more inspired time.
I've also been reviewing some of my 'life training' notes from some courses I'd taken some time ago.

This has all really helped me refocus on being in the conversation of my life.

I know that my next move is going to be huge and I don't want to make it from some dark, uninspired place.

What I've seen about my current situation is how quickly I resorted to this old story of mine about how worthless I am as a tech, and how no one will hire me because I'm a girl.

This age old story allows me to justify my not doing what I love. It allows me to say things like, "I told you so." I get to be right and the world gets to be wrong, so very wrong.

And while there might even be a nugget of truth this story, that's not the place I want to live my life from. Because to be honest, I'd rather be allow myself to be wrong and live a life I love than allow this old story to beat me.

So I'm putting the story away. I'm giving up being right.
I'm going to meditate and remember the life I imagined for myself at this point...and start living from the place that will create that. Now...if only I can remember what my plans were!