holland

so drunk at the bar last nite i was reading this poster about murphys law and just killin myself so i looked it up
i cant find the same list, but this is just as good

Murphys Law of Sex

*The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
*Nothing improves with age.
*No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
*Sex has no calories.
*Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
*There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
*Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
*No sex with anyone in the same office.
*Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
*A man in the house is worth two in the street.
*If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
*Virginity can be cured.
*When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
*Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
*The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
*Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
*It is always the wrong time of month.
*The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
*When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
*Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
*Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
*The younger the better.
*The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
*It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
*Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
*Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
*There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
*Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
*Love is a hole in the heart.
*If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
*Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
*Do it only with the best.
*Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
*One good turn gets most of the blankets.
*You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
*Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
*It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
*Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
*Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
*Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
*Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
*A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
*What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
*It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
*Never say no.
*A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
*Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
*Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
*Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
*A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
*Love comes in spurts.
*The world does not revolve on an axis.
*Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
*Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
*Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
*There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
*Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
*Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
*"This won't hurt, I promise."