Sunday May 09, 2010

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university years are meant to be the best year of your life, right?

how come i fucking hate it?

i have no money, no friends, a slug in my bathroom and i haven't even been able to meet someone whilst i am here because my heart belongs to someone else, even though right now it feels like he broke it and ate my brain.

i don't even want to go home because i don't like it there either.

i think its me i want to get away from.

oh and i want a slow loris and i can't have one that actually makes me cry

SPOILERS! (Click to view)







"Now I think I'm holding my breath. If I let go and relax my body, my soul will disintegrate. Or maybe it's my heart, and it will break. There will be a gaping wound in my chest that everyone will see. That's it... it's as if I'm walking about cradling my heart within my hands, held close to me. I can't let go, or let anyone see that it is barely beating, bleeding lightly.

I will move forward now, in survival mode for a while, but I'm looking forward, I think, to the eventual sense of relief, of potential disaster averted. It has to happen, because something has to make up for the pain that is going to hit me when I finally begin to thaw.

He knows the reasons why I have to end it. He knows why I have to try to make my real life work. He knows how I feel about him and why I've never effectively followed through with this decision before. It's possible that he believes I'll change my mind again. Or maybe he feels my resolve this time."



VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
trilby:
Oh no that sounds like a tough one. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help
trilby:
It does make sense smile looks like you've got it covered

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