Talked to mom today. She congratulated me on the job. Sometimes I think that she expects too much from me, but then I do something trivial and she gets excited for me. I'm just so cautious about pleasing her. I went to college because she wanted me to. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time post-college. Now she's letting me make my own decisions, and I don't have that much practice in making the important ones on my own. I mean, fuck, I have a hard enough time making the small decisions on my own. Should I have peanut butter on bread for breakfast, or should I just wait a bit and have soup for lunch in about an hour? I can't even decide if this quitting smoking thing is what I really want. I really miss smoking. I can feel the difference. Shit, after only a day, exercising was a fuckload easier. But I like smoking. But I can't even decide for myself whether to stay quit, or to just succumb to the temptation.
Why does everything I talk about lately turn into being about smoking? I should just go to 7-11 and buy a fucking pack.
Why does everything I talk about lately turn into being about smoking? I should just go to 7-11 and buy a fucking pack.
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susannahjoy:
my brother complains that he misses smoking all the time. but then he says that likes being able to breathe too much to start again. *shrug* just dont start smoking because you're craving it. make sure that if youdo it's because you know that you actually want to. it semes like you'd be much happier with your decision that way. hmm. speaking of moms and jobs though, i have an interview at hollywood video on friday and my mom is mad at me. yup. she doesnt want me to have a job. wtf? i'm so confused. args. and my sister is getting huge. i call her fatty. it's fun. lol.
shivasshakti:
How's the new job going? Good luck with the smoking dilemma. I quit and it does make everything easier.