hlb

I come to realize something recently. What it is that i want will be 3-4 apartments and house of my own, also owning my fathers company. To make the first steps of my journey will come to some great sacrifice. I am more then likely going to move into my grandfathers house. He unfortunately has very little at best or no respect for women. Enduring that will be hell, I could never bring a girlfriend to where I live cause I would never subject her to him for more then ten minutes. He is fine at a distance, but that is exactly what it would take. He himself moved into his grandfathers place as his grandfather got older. His grandfather set him up with his first set of apartments and i do not doubt for a moment that he would do the same for me. I am just afraid that i will not be able to endure it. I actually fear that one day I would open my mouth and move out, 'cause like him I keep almost no thoughts hidden. I do not wish to be alone but I do believe that this is something I must do for now to better my own future. I love my grandfather, he has always been there for me. I just do not see things eye to eye with him. To him a woman will never be any where close to his equal, and I do believe much different. A very close and distant friend of mine, known her for 8 years has proven that which I always believed. The main difference is that I have a high respect for women even though I joke around. For women my grandfather even at 78 years old has almost no respect. If I based my belief of equality of women to those that I chose to have relationships with, I may too see what he means. However, I base my beliefs on what my friends have shown me and they have never shown me pain or frailty. This is gonna be interesting, oddly he is one of three people that are able to calm me down. That is something I could never understand. I take things as they are, but I feel that I must endure this sacrifice. He may actually get me to quit smoking cigs again like he did many years ago. Well, that much is wishfull thinking. I moved in for like 3 or 4 nights a few years ago and he got me to quit, I hope it goes as well this time. Wish me luck, I am going to talk to my grandfather about moving in to his house in the next week. I prolly wont be moved in untill winter.