hisa

So on my second day back in the States I was confronted with another tragedy. The Albany River Rats are moving to North Carolina. I cannot accurately convey what a steaming pile of cockshit this is. I love hockey. I have followed the sport for years (even when its been terrible to watch the Isles lose). The reason I got into hockey is because of the 'Rats (who have farmed for the Devils, the Avalanche, and most recently the Canes). When I was eight or ten my dad decided to buy season tickets to see them play at the Knick. I was with him, almost every time. Hockey is truly the greatest sport to watch live on the planet, especially for an eight year old. My love was born.

And now, after perverting one of the legendary teams of professional hockey into something disgusting, unloved which could only continue to exist south of the Mason-Dixon Line, the want to take MY RATS?! Dear Reader, in their first home game of the playoffs last season the Carolina Hurricanes did not sell out their stadium until the morning of the game. Their opponents, the Pittsburgh Penguins, had sold out their first home post-season game four months earlier. FOUR MONTHS. The 'Canes have absconded with my childhood.

Dear Reader, as a sign of solidarity, the next time you are in one of the Carolinas, please, stop what you are doing, drop trou, and take a giant, steaming, mostly liquid shit on the nearest public landmark you can find. Then, pull out your Sharpie, and scrawl somewhere near it "GIVE BACK THE RATS!"

Thanks in advane, Dear Reader.