hipples

Listening to: the sound of rain outside...

I got some fun mail today. Peta sent me a vegetarian starter kit. Not that I needed it, since I've been doing this for awhile anyways... I signed up to recieve it though just to see what sort of literature they'd send me. It came with a DVD that had a few Peta commercials and that "meet your meat" video on it, so that's kind of cool. Now I can bring the fun propaganda with me to any location that has a dvd player!

I got upset at work tonight. Because I am still so unpracticed at grill, I was asked to work on that station again. This time however, I got some extra training which i think will help me a lot. I am now trained on every position (including call - the guy that drives the whole ship) on line, except for forno (which is technically seperate from our line). The trouble started though when I was asked to take over. I was running the kitchen, with only one guy (who's slow as fuck at everything, been there a month) and one girl (the girl who started last night on appetizers).

Two large parties (each about 8 people per table) were rung in almost immediately after I took over. Granted, it could have been a million times worse. But this is one of the first nights I've had to run everything like that, so I was fully flailing trying to get all the food up in time.

Luckily, the rest of the evening didn't go as badly. Because the guy didn't want to stay, I asked the new girl if she wouldn't mind staying late with me to help me close in his place. She really didn't know much to be considered a helpful closer, but she knew how to do what I told her to, and we were able to have some good conversations about the music we listen to as well. It didn't take long for us to get everything shut down together.

The recruit (dishwasher) was asking me questions... like why this girl was suddenly being trained on line when he had been recruit for longer. Everyone knows he's been studying like mad to get onto to the line, so why he's been left behind seems questionable to me. But then again, he's not the only one who hasn't gotten a promotion that he maybe should have...

Ah well, work is now over again for a day or two. Kind of lame to have a two day work week, but I'm glad to have my birthday off.

And yet, I still don't have much in the way of plans. This girl I met a few days ago said she'd be glad to spend some time with me though. In fact, I may go to a movie tomorrow evening with her and some of her friends. Oh, and naturally I will be at the club later of course.

Twenty one seems like a big age. I don't mean to offend anyone older than me, but I suddenly feel a little bit old myself. I'm now old enough to drink just about anywhere in the world I think. I'm old enough that age doesn't act as a barrier for me anymore. I remember being younger and looking at twenty-one as if it was some magical age of prosperity.

Yet here I am, with little to nothing really accomplished yet.

Ooh, but i shouldn't think like that. Today will be good. I hope so anyways. I don't have the highest epxectations, just because I know I'm pretty much on my own with this birthday thing. People will come out to drink with me, but it'll pretty much just be a glorified party. I go out so much, that another night at the club really doesn't seem that special...

I kind of wish time would stop right now. I love the anticipation, the excitement, that comes before a holiday. Like on Christmas eve, when the entire christmas season seems to come to it's peak just before you fall asleep. That's how I feel right now... I am happy that my birthday is tomorrow (later today at this point), but I think that once it's here, it'll be over too quickly. Or it won't meet my expectations. Or it'll just be another day like any other.... Oh well, happy birthday to me.

Unrelated to that though... I've been having some bad dreams lately. I can't always recall exactly what the dreams are about, but I keep waking up in a panic. I napped this afternoon between my split shifts, and I swear that I almost cried when i woke up.

The last moments of my dream (that I can remember): I was hiding from the police (for whatever reason), but getting ready to turn myself in. Before I did though, I was in a little apartment (apparently mine, although no resemblance to my real apartment) with my parents. They were trying to re-assure me about what I was going to do. I kept trying to write notes to people to explain what was happening... to explain the mess, to explain the broken bathroom, to say goodbye..., My pencil just would not work though! The lead was too hard and it just ended up scratching the paper without leaving any sort of ledgible marking. Things kept collapsing in on themselves, with the broken bathroom getting worse (flooding), the apartment getting smaller (rooms disappearing?), my parents becoming more and more distorted (fading, getting swallowed by the disappearing rooms), the sirens getting louder, the messages getting messier, my doom drawing closer...

I woke up terrified. My first instinct was to grab a nearby pen and write the note that had eluded me in my dream. Only when I couldn't remember why I was being chased (or what I had to write) did I realize that it was all just a dream...

Hopefully I'll sleep peacefully tonight. Big day ahead. It will be good.