hipples

I'm supposed to be at this little gathering now, but I've decided to update my SG instead. It's better to be fashionably late than awkwardly early, that's what I always say.

This weekend is completely null for plans. Everyone is going home or spending time with family, so I'm going to be generally alone. But I think I'm kind of ready for that. I bought a tripod last weekend while I was in Vancouver, so perhaps I'll spend some of the weekend to myself, taking some of those pictures I've previously promised.

I'm so close to broke it's embarassing, and I never did end up doing any xmas shopping for anyone. Bah humbug... I mean really, it's a stupid commercially driven holiday anyways. The part of christmas that I like is the whole "spending time with the people you love", and apparently that's not going to be happening this year (because I don't really have anyone to spend it with; yes I have family but I'd rather be alone than spend it with them...).

And in the personal battle... I'm thinking of dropping the "straight edge" title, but remaining completely clear of all substances still. I know it sounds redundant... but the thing is... taking that title seems to mean taking sobriety for life. As much as I'm all about clarity and cleanliness for now, there is *nothing* in the world that I am comfortable in declaring "forever" right now. I'll remain clean, and avoid drinking (for all the same reasons I have before) but with the note that I may someday break.

I do have this slight fear that dropping the title will make it seem more okay for me to break though. And if that results in me starting up with some bad habits again, then the entire exercise will have been something of a failure. I really don't know what I want to do just yet. Until further notice, I still have not dropped the title just yet... because I'm not sure what I want to do...