hildreth

This reminds me so eerily of my life growing up. I was the shy outcast who lived in her dream world. I remember being in 3rd grade and making up tall stories to impress my peers and live out my fantasies of a wonderful, meaningful existence.
My parents were still together until my early teens, but not without years of bearing witness to domestic violence and spending my 13th birthday with police officers trying to subdue them both.
I ultimately ended up living with my father, which was certainly an interesting experience. We lived in a run down commission home where little money was available for things like clothes and anything beyond the basic means for living. I was bullied incessantly at school and without a mother to idolize or look up to - did not know much about growing into a woman.
In any case, my father was diagnosed when I was 14 with a fatal lung disease, and I spent the next two years taking care of him while he slowly died on life support, while also looking after my younger brother. When I wasn't doing that, I was lost in the world of the internet - a place where I could escape the problems of the real world and connect with people in a way that I was afraid to in reality. Even to this day, a couple of my closest friends were people I met online, and even my husband I met online while I was in Australia, and he in USA. My online connections helped me learn to accept myself, and my venture into photography and photo art started from a place of loneliness when I was 16. It was a way of expressing myself and seeing beauty in a world that appeared to lack it.

I have no idea why I'm telling you this, without eloquence, in the middle of the night, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm just glad that ultimately, we've both grown up to be better, more humble people for it. *hug*

I would imagine there would have been more responses. Much like me, I'm sure the people who read this were left without the proper words to respond.

It's funny... When you are a child, you feel like your experience is so bizarre compared to what you perceive as normal... ha, given the brainwash of family images depicted by television. As we get older, we discover that there is no such thing as "normal", in a Cosby, Family Ties sense. The older you gets, the more you realize just how dynamic life is. None of us had the same ride. (a la Bill Hicks) We all were raised with things that would love to forget but also moments & peoples memories we will cherish forever. Everyone had a unique existence.

I can totally relate to much of this. Many of us were old souls trapped in that little inexperienced flesh cage. I never forget where I came from but try to live for the now. The ride really is short and I'm trying to milk a little more fun out of it before I'm dust, the only promise in life. I'm satisfied in the knowledge that my early life experiences shaped who I am now. I was a strange little shit. I had huge ideas. I felt like I was tripping all the time. I had anxiety that I didn't know how to explain to adults. I was an artist. I didn't relate to other little kids. Maybe they didn't really relate either. maybe we all were pretending in unison, together.

I don't have a direct response to this blog. I can only get out of it what I learned from my trip down the gauntlet of childhood... So, I'll leave it on a simple note.

"It ain't where you're from it's where your at"
-Rakim

Cool picture.

Love it.

You really are good. From what I see in your photography, I would expect you to go far.

My roommate just went to see Joan Didion speak a few days ago. He said it was exactly as somber as one would expect it to be.

I like how the top looks like a polaroid almost

Wow...lovely.