Words below.
I was daydreaming at a stoplight the other day. I had flashed to a moment in my life, perhaps 20 years ahead; the vision of me, looking over my shoulder in a film shot in sepia. Moments ran through mind in the brief minutes before the light change. Family. Being a father. How my grandfather used to sing Amazing Grace to me before bed. How I hope to take whatever scraps of musical knowledge I learned in music lessons, and a weekly hobby of dive bar karaoke, and use these musical interests to lullaby my children to sleep. Some day.
Green. I cruise through the intersection.
Most of my life feels like it has been going 100 mph to the point of right now, but the more I explore my artistic endeavors, the more I learn of myselfand the more I feel immortal. Daily I try to wrap my head around human existence, atoms, the universe, all the layers going into every moment. I laid awake the other night and randomly thought of every thing going into a single fashion photo. The photographer shows up, sets up the lights and camera; hairstylists and makeup artists apply their mastery; the model him or herself has a repertoire of facial and body expressions. Snap. Photo taken. Staring at a photo of a model looking directly back at me on my computer it feels like a mirror. Its hard to feel like there are other people out there when everything seems like a reflection of yourself.
Let me see if I can make sense of this thought:
Starting at the surface of the skin, Earth, moving outward through all the layers of photography, Space, all elements exist to create a single unique moment in the universe. Millions of photos are snapped every minute around the world. Flashes popping. Stars glimmering as they send reflection of light. Stars are born above us, around usbrought out of us. The sun, Earths continuous light, washes over uswarms us, brings life, ends lifeas we are born, live, and die. Photography is a constant work in progress, proving we are relentless against extinction, and most important proving that we are. My brain works like this. Even when Im in the middle of a conversation, chances are great Ive spent at least a portion of it contemplating why the moment is happening as it does. I never accept things as they are, unless Im being impulsive about a retail purchase.
Might be a curse, this curiosity. I had many moments riding in the car with my mom asking her why, about everything. Id get an answer and think it over. Maybe Id come up with another question, too. Im still that way. Im constantly thinking of why we exist, and quietly accepting all things as they are. The good people. The bad. Charitable citizens, religious people, even atheists, and murders. As the most beloved person in the world does their greatest deed, on the opposite end of the spectrum, someone just got away with doing their worst. Its not so black and white, I know, but to someone who thinks too much, its nice to simplify it.
I feel like Im a balance between introvert and extrovert, though my personality tests would suggest Im 100% extroverted. I do engage people, constantly. Asking them why, accepting their answers, sometimes questioning logic, but more or less trying to understand this world.
A photograph feels more like an answer. I always ask why, but when I snap a photo it feels like the entire universe all its sun, light, stars, people, skin, Earth, collide in a trigger-captured moment.
The universe is replying it just is in its own way.
And for an over-thinker like me, thats a real fine, humbling moment.
I was daydreaming at a stoplight the other day. I had flashed to a moment in my life, perhaps 20 years ahead; the vision of me, looking over my shoulder in a film shot in sepia. Moments ran through mind in the brief minutes before the light change. Family. Being a father. How my grandfather used to sing Amazing Grace to me before bed. How I hope to take whatever scraps of musical knowledge I learned in music lessons, and a weekly hobby of dive bar karaoke, and use these musical interests to lullaby my children to sleep. Some day.
Green. I cruise through the intersection.
Most of my life feels like it has been going 100 mph to the point of right now, but the more I explore my artistic endeavors, the more I learn of myselfand the more I feel immortal. Daily I try to wrap my head around human existence, atoms, the universe, all the layers going into every moment. I laid awake the other night and randomly thought of every thing going into a single fashion photo. The photographer shows up, sets up the lights and camera; hairstylists and makeup artists apply their mastery; the model him or herself has a repertoire of facial and body expressions. Snap. Photo taken. Staring at a photo of a model looking directly back at me on my computer it feels like a mirror. Its hard to feel like there are other people out there when everything seems like a reflection of yourself.
Let me see if I can make sense of this thought:
Starting at the surface of the skin, Earth, moving outward through all the layers of photography, Space, all elements exist to create a single unique moment in the universe. Millions of photos are snapped every minute around the world. Flashes popping. Stars glimmering as they send reflection of light. Stars are born above us, around usbrought out of us. The sun, Earths continuous light, washes over uswarms us, brings life, ends lifeas we are born, live, and die. Photography is a constant work in progress, proving we are relentless against extinction, and most important proving that we are. My brain works like this. Even when Im in the middle of a conversation, chances are great Ive spent at least a portion of it contemplating why the moment is happening as it does. I never accept things as they are, unless Im being impulsive about a retail purchase.
Might be a curse, this curiosity. I had many moments riding in the car with my mom asking her why, about everything. Id get an answer and think it over. Maybe Id come up with another question, too. Im still that way. Im constantly thinking of why we exist, and quietly accepting all things as they are. The good people. The bad. Charitable citizens, religious people, even atheists, and murders. As the most beloved person in the world does their greatest deed, on the opposite end of the spectrum, someone just got away with doing their worst. Its not so black and white, I know, but to someone who thinks too much, its nice to simplify it.
I feel like Im a balance between introvert and extrovert, though my personality tests would suggest Im 100% extroverted. I do engage people, constantly. Asking them why, accepting their answers, sometimes questioning logic, but more or less trying to understand this world.
A photograph feels more like an answer. I always ask why, but when I snap a photo it feels like the entire universe all its sun, light, stars, people, skin, Earth, collide in a trigger-captured moment.
The universe is replying it just is in its own way.
And for an over-thinker like me, thats a real fine, humbling moment.
Shame I didn't know about your work when I was in Boulder last summer. I would've so tried to shoot a set with you. The few photos that I've seen--mostly the one of Rambo--leave me breathless.
x0!