Current Music: The Smiths - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
Things aren't the answer but it's funny how they seem to be the only thing that helps. Being alone again i decided that i needed some Smiths vinyl so i bought Meat is Murder and Strangeways, Here We Come. I sit alone as usual, and i've decided to give up on certain things in life. I look for books that express how i feel and i can't find any. I try to understand why things are this way and if it's possible to change. And then as i sink down into these thoughts and realities news come of a more serious and pressing matter for someone else and i feel guilty for thinking this way and being so pessimistic. And what do you tell them, i don't have any clue, i'm not really saying much at all... should i throw cliches at them, i can't do that, but of course i don't have any real answers... this is coming out as convoluted as everything else i try to write, but the thoughts are there, which is just one more of my frustrations, i dont know where to begin. I'm too scared of life to live it... no it's not even that, its that theres really only one thing i want and thats an impossibility and everything else seems alien and foreign to me. Do you ever wish that you could be someone else? i feel like i came off the assembly line broken and somewhere there is a bag of parts that got thrown away cause someone forgot to install them and now i just walk through life malfunctioning. I feel like i'm trapped inside my head and can't get out and the parts that do escape are so maladjusted and broken that i have to mask them behind stupid jokes and phony smile cause no one would want to see the raw, bleeding, torn apart mess inside... i swear this post wasn't supposed to be this cynical but there it is again. oh well, i'm gonna go to bed, ya know work on the morrow.
Adios,
I Am From The Future
Things aren't the answer but it's funny how they seem to be the only thing that helps. Being alone again i decided that i needed some Smiths vinyl so i bought Meat is Murder and Strangeways, Here We Come. I sit alone as usual, and i've decided to give up on certain things in life. I look for books that express how i feel and i can't find any. I try to understand why things are this way and if it's possible to change. And then as i sink down into these thoughts and realities news come of a more serious and pressing matter for someone else and i feel guilty for thinking this way and being so pessimistic. And what do you tell them, i don't have any clue, i'm not really saying much at all... should i throw cliches at them, i can't do that, but of course i don't have any real answers... this is coming out as convoluted as everything else i try to write, but the thoughts are there, which is just one more of my frustrations, i dont know where to begin. I'm too scared of life to live it... no it's not even that, its that theres really only one thing i want and thats an impossibility and everything else seems alien and foreign to me. Do you ever wish that you could be someone else? i feel like i came off the assembly line broken and somewhere there is a bag of parts that got thrown away cause someone forgot to install them and now i just walk through life malfunctioning. I feel like i'm trapped inside my head and can't get out and the parts that do escape are so maladjusted and broken that i have to mask them behind stupid jokes and phony smile cause no one would want to see the raw, bleeding, torn apart mess inside... i swear this post wasn't supposed to be this cynical but there it is again. oh well, i'm gonna go to bed, ya know work on the morrow.
Adios,
I Am From The Future