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hickuphelpline

Member Since 2003

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Tuesday Oct 19, 2004

Oct 19, 2004
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Anyone had a group of firm friends who treated you in a manner which suggested that they don't appriciate what your talents are, 'who you are' and where you're at? My friends are assholes and I need some more.

They made me believe that I was autistic because they were so cold and didn't support me. Now they patronise me and give me cute nicknames. I hate to say it but intellectually I can and do run circles around them. I read Sartre while they role their joints, or solve problems amidst their apparently pointless conversations that always seem to be about ME when I'm almost listening.

I resent the fact that UK hip hop is crap MUSIC but because of its underground status and because there aren't many kids (because that is what they are - I have more fun talking to retired clergy and the holy grail of people to me: mature undergraduates) who listen to it, I have to put up with Casio ostinarto lines all fucking night. Ok, I'm missing out on lyrics when I'm not paying full attention to the track (and don't get me wrong - I like hip hop as a genre a lot).

I don't want to finish this. I found almost a whole ciggerette under my bedroom sofa and I've been invited to the pub so I'm going to go out and try and crash a free pint.




What sucks the most now is that Thomas has gone to university and so my loft is the only room that people can gather to drink their own liquor and smoke bud. How long will I have to put up with people calling me up to invite themselves round? I know that they have nowhere else to go and they don't even acknowledege this. They still behave like I owe them something because I'm more interested in culture and literature and philosophy than I am in their lives and their interests but that is probably down to their..... immature, inconceivably arrogant, self centred and supremicist lives.
hickuphelpline:
Last night I invited Ronan and Kader round, Tom, who is a very close and antique friend, came over but then i'm told that Beetson and Adam (and Adam is a cunt, a short, skinny, reasonably handsome, generic, super-chav, intelligent and self assured boring bastard who thought that I didn't like him without justification. People think my confidence is unconditional and that I should share myself with them in the way that I do with people like Ronan or Alex Cook). Unfortanately I guessed very quickly that Adam didn't like me. When I'm busy in the caverns of my mind it can appear that i'm fairly hard of hearing. I'm not i'm just engrossed. My hearing is exceptional.

"Be careful with yourself. You are all you have got."
Oct 19, 2004

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